grief exponential

Last updated on: August 4, 2011 at 4:08 pm by David Hayward

grief exponential 2011-08-04T16:08:32-04:00 David Hayward

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

When someone leaves a church for whatever reason… they finally decide it’s no longer for them; asked or pressured to leave; lose much of the church due to something like a split; the churches ceases to exist; they move to another area and can’t find another church to settle in; etc… they will often experience grief.

But the grief is on two levels:

The first level is grieving the loss of the church. Especially if church has been a huge part of their lives for years. Church often permeated much of their lives, so when they leave it, it leaves a huge hole. I compare it to a senior who retires from work. The grief, the trauma that many retirees feel is acute… sometimes so acute that many rapidly decline in their health, get depressed and even die. Even though they might be happy to not have to work, work was such a huge part of their lives that they can’t make the adjustment. It’s like that for many who leave a or the church.
The second level of grief is the loss of all the relationships. The church isn’t just the organization, but a conglomerate of countless networks of relationships, some of them intimate. Suddenly, all these relationships vaporize. I compare this to someone losing their whole village. The church provided a kind of gathering place, so that they’ve lost the one guaranteed means of gaining, nurturing and maintaining relationships. It’s all gone all at once. Eradicated. Sure, some of it was their own doing, but the grief cannot be dismissed just because of this.

It’s critical that you not deny yourself this grief or underestimate its effects. The trauma such people experience is often serious.

I know what I’m talking about. I’ve experienced this grief more than once. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever really get over it. The effects of grief linger still.

Do you know what I mean?

Previous Post

August 4, 2011

tv evangelist

Next Post

August 5, 2011 Freebie Friday: illustrated children's book

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category art cartoons cartoons 2 freebie music one minute message podcast Sophia teaching technology thought

Select a Month February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008 August 2008 July 2008 June 2008 May 2008 April 2008 March 2008 February 2008 January 2008 December 2007 November 2007 October 2007 September 2007 August 2007 July 2007 June 2007 May 2007 April 2007 March 2007 February 2007 January 2007 December 2006 November 2006 October 2006 September 2006 August 2006 July 2006 June 2006 May 2006 March 2006 February 2006

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What is the longest verse in the Bible?

Select your answer to see how you score.

John 3:16 Esther 8:9 Romans 8:28 Psalm 119:105