So You’re Gay

Last updated on: April 5, 2011 at 4:58 pm by David Hayward

So You’re Gay 2011-04-05T16:58:10-04:00 David Hayward

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For years prior to leaving the church I tried to make it known that I was inclusive of gays being a part of our community. I think other members of the community, for the most part, were inclusive. In intention anyway. I know many struggled with it. But I think most people were struggling in what I think is the right direction.

But it was an issue. I had many many talks, sometimes heated, about it. The community was pretty much representative of the whole spectrum of positions on the issue, from homophobic to loving the sinner but hating the sin, from exclusion to inclusion, from believing it was biblically an abomination to thinking the bible is unclear to thinking it didn’t matter what the bible’s stance is because it is a dated document. But it was a constant issue. When someone I knew was gay, or especially a gay couple, came to the church, I was on pins and needles waiting for a reaction to them. I didn’t mind when they, say, held hands, but I was so afraid of them being rejected because of it. The issue was always in my face because I believe gays deserve equal status, rights and privileges without fear of negative ramifications. I worried on their behalf.

Now it is no longer an issue. It is a non-issue for me. I still believe that gays should have equal status, rights and privileges without fear of negative ramifications in all of society. But it is no longer complicated by my constant obsession with their acceptance and inclusion into a delicate and sometimes easily offended community, the church.

It simply doesn’t matter. So you’re gay! So what? Be gay! If you want to be a part of a religious community, then find one that is inclusive. Or find one that is trying to be. Or go and keep your identity and orientation private. Or go to one that isn’t inclusive and don’t give a damn what they think about you and cause a shit-storm. Whatever. This is not to trivialize the extent of the pain you’ve experienced over this issue. But your sexuality is your business. Not theirs.

So you’re gay.

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