Dark Citizen

Last updated on: January 7, 2008 at 3:56 pm by David Hayward

Dark Citizen 2008-01-07T15:56:10-04:00 David Hayward

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Well, I thought I would just say a few things this busy Monday. First of all, I received another negative review, this time from remonstrans. He humorously calls Shane and I the Beavis and Butthead of the new clergy. He’s wrong. Shane’s not clergy. You should read his blog and ensuing comments though. He’s very intelligent and quite funny… even if I don’t agree with him. Well… it’s not so much what he says but how he says it. But I like him and he’s worth a read.

Which reminds me of just about everybody. I don’t agree 100% with anyone that I know. But, for the most part, I like them. It’s not upon the topography of our brains or the geography of our thinking that love is based. If we haven’t learned that by now, then we certainly haven’t learned that by now, which is precisely what is to be learned by now, if you catch my meaning. Just yesterday it was announced that one of our people is going to lead a seminar on finances. I don’t agree with some of his theology, but anyone can play and everyone can have a say. And another person in our community announced that he is starting a workshop on the gospel of John. These two guys probably represent both ends of the spectrum theologically in our community. Ah, I love the diversity and the richness of community that can be experienced in this. This is more precious to me that intellectual, theological and philosophical homogeneity.

We are basically lazy, self-centered, violent and horribly blind. That’s another conclusion I came to long ago and continually gets confirmed. This dawns on me brighter and brighter every day. How to be joyful, fruitful and loving in the midst of this revelation that mostly implicates myself? I’ve been a human long enough and a student long enough and worked in religious communities long enough to know this with certainty, not only in my mind but experientially. I shared this daily unfolding revelation with a friend of mine who agreed and has given up. I said that I agree, but somehow, like Jesus, aren’t we to serve and serve and serve until they kill us? I don’t know. I’m not feeling depressed about it. I still believe in good works. But we must realize that all we do is shot through with this basic self-centeredness. I’ve seen the dark side, and I’m its citizen.

The fine art photograph is the creation of my friend Mark Hemmings and is from his Mannequin series. Beautiful but fake.

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