Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

My Islamic Life

Home
Muslim
Panic Settles in like a Haze

Panic Settles in like a Haze

Last updated on: March 15, 2016 at 8:07 pm by Kristina ElSayed

Panic Settles in like a Haze 2016-03-15T20:07:29-04:00 Kristina ElSayed

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Last weekend, I had a dream that caused me to wake in a panic.

I was grocery shopping with my husband at local neighborhood market that is right around the corner from our home, a store that we frequent on a weekly basis.

I was shopping for smoothie ingredients. I wanted specific fruits and vegetables and asked the employees to find them for me while I was at the counter. (In this dream, the fruit and veggie department was linked with a smoothie bar…like a deli counter.) We stood at the counter and chatted with the attendants while they found the items I requested. My husband chatted intermittently with us, texting and responding to phone calls while I created my smoothie.

During his phone call, he stepped away from the counter, away from me so his phone conversation wouldn’t interrupt my conversation. When he returned, the manager of the store and multiple security personnel approached us and told my husband that he wasn’t welcome in the store. He needed to leave. We began explaining that we were loyal, frequent customers to the shop and we lived right around the corner from this location and the manager didn’t want to listen. The volume and intensity increased. We weren’t finished shopping and there was no reason for anyone to ask us to leave.

And then the manager said that Khaled didn’t belong here. He needed to leave and go back to his country. He said he didn’t want our kind in his store. He didn’t need our money. I stood between my husband and the security guards and tried to protect him from their hurtful words, from the damaging things they were yelling at him. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t protect him and before the dream ended, I woke up in a panic.

My heart was racing, my skin was flushed, I was crying and shaking.

I have been closely watching the election proceedings. Not so closely that I am consumed by them entirely, but close enough that I know the gist of what is happening. I’ve watched a few debates. I read a few things a day. I looked forward to Ohio’s Primary.

I made sure I knew what day our Primary was taking place. I looked up all of the laws on voter ID and the times our polling places were open. I shared the information on Facebook. I made sure that I planned on voting today.

This morning, I briefly thought about keeping our children home from school. I thought about contacting the school to ask if they needed extra volunteers to come in and direct voters to the Gym. Then I stopped and thought about the location of the gym in relation to all of the other classrooms and I prayed.

I set aside time, leaving early for my workout so I could stop at my polling place and vote on my way. At 9:00 I drove to my polling place. As I pulled into the parking lot, I saw no less than 20 Vote for TR**P signs. I didn’t see more than 1 sign for each of the other candidates, except for the person running for representative that lives in our neighborhood.

I voted. Everyone was cheerful. There was a buzz of excitement inside the polling venue. We have a lot of the same people working our location every election, so they recognize us. People were happy to see us voting.

And then I left to go to my Cardio Drumming class and as I drove through the city, I saw that every intersection was blanketed with those Vote for TR**P signs. My heart rate became elevated. I felt my breathing quicken. My palms were moist on the steering wheel.

Every time I saw one of those signs, it was like someone whispering into my ear, “You Don’t Belong Here, Go Away.”

By the time I got to class, my mind had wandered to what will happen in our neighborhood when the election draws nearer. Our neighborhood is quite diverse. We have no less than 10 Muslim families in our direct neighborhood, 1 street away on either side of our home. We have Syrian, Lebanese, Palestinian, Egyptian, Indian, South Asian, Asian and black families that live all within this 1 mile radius. We also have quite a few conservative Republicans on our street. I know this because over the past 10 years, we’ve seen the yard sign proof of their voting choices.

What will we do if one of our neighbors has one of those Vote for TR**P signs in their yard? I can’t really continue our friendly, neighborhood banter when I know that they support someone who wants to whitewash America. Will we continue to feel welcome in our own home? Feel safe?

Today, when our children came home from school, we talked about the day and they asked me if I voted. I told them I had, but then Pea came and hugged me.

She asked, “If TR**P becomes President, will we have to move to Canada?”

I told her no, but in my mind I thought, ‘God, I hope not.’

On the way home from running errands tonight, again, I drove through those intersections and felt the same tension and panic rise up in the back of my shoulders and neck.

I can only protect us from so much. My children, my husband and I are constantly aware that this hatred is looming like a haze of pollution. I fear it will only get thicker over the next several months. I pray that my family and all of America can recover from this election.

Previous Post

February 11, 2016

Ash Wednesday

Next Post

April 26, 2016 Getting Excited

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Beyond Etsy Blog Posts Books Educational Gadgets Hijabs In the House Jewelry On Etsy Personal Ramadan Reader Questions Reader Response Recipes Resources Uncategorized Videos

Select a Month April 2020 January 2020 September 2019 March 2019 December 2018 September 2018 June 2018 May 2018 March 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

True or False: Ezekiel saw a vision of a valley of dry bones that came to life.

Select your answer to see how you score.

FALSE TRUE