What do you wear? How do you dress?

Last updated on: October 18, 2010 at 1:07 pm by Kristina ElSayed

What do you wear? How do you dress? 2010-10-18T13:07:47-04:00 Kristina ElSayed

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Hello Friends. Oh how I have missed you! Life (as the 1000 piece puzzle it is) exploded sometime around Eid Ul Fitr and slowly, the pieces are starting to fit back together. Nothing tragic, I assure you, but definitely a few big changes for my little village here.

The last week of Ramadan brought several orders for Eid Gift hijabs, and then orders for Hajj outfits started to trickle in, filling up my already jam-packed schedule with sewing and fabric shopping. Since then, I’ve had a steady schedule of working 6 days a week with sewing and substitute teaching, leaving little time for family keeping or blogging. I’m not complaining!

Don’t misunderstand, but after being at home and keeping my family for 11 years, I’ve had a steady routine for the week that only was altered when deep cleaning became necessary or I decided to start a home project, or got busy with kid stuff. Now, I’m readjusting the weekly schedule so that I am free to work (for monetary pay) during the time that my other family members are away from the house, and do my family keeping while they are in residence. Of course, after having the same basic schedule for 11 years, it will take some readjusting and tweaking here and there until it becomes a comfortable routine again.

While I’ve been working away at making Prayer Outfits (12 since Ramadan-3 more in process) I’ve been cooking and stewing a topic on the back burner…waiting for the hour when I could stop and talk about it with you. And since I have just an hour, it’s not as polished as I’d like.

What do you wear? How do you dress? Has your sense of style changed since you married your Muslim partner? (I say partner because I’m including relationships where the wife is Muslim, husband is not.) What do you wear to the Mosque?

This has been something I have consciously considered since marrying my husband. Growing up, I had the freedom to wear most whatever I liked. My mother didn’t always agree with my choices, but since I wasn’t doing anything permanent, and not coloring my hair all crazy, she pretty much rolled her eyes at me and laughed. I starting being creative with my clothing back in the late 80s, early 90’s when the mode of dress was often silvery, neon, Madonna, Thriller…Bennetton, The Limited, and then migrated into grunge. I, most often, would layer my clothing. Maybe a piece of this trend or that trend would sneak in, but it would always be layered in with something unexpected. I tried to fit the mold a few times, Mom taking me to the store and buying a full outfit that was soo trendy, but those outfits didn’t make the rotation that often, because they didn’t feel true to my character, my innate natural sense of style.

I spent many months wearing my father’s sweaters over skirts and baggy jeans, pegging my pants and wearing Chucks. Layering skirts over stretch pants, or long johns, heavy sweaters or t-shirts borrowed on top, sometimes a hat or ribbon to top it all off. Little did I know, that layering skirts or dresses with stretch pants would follow me through my adult life.

In my 20’s I transitioned into an adult wardrobe, favoring brands like J.Jill, Eddie Bauer and Lands End. I wanted to look adult (or what I believed to be adult – like), I wanted to reflect a more mature self, not completely as creative as I could be, but then again, I rarely had time for putting together outfits that really felt as colorful as I’d like. Then I married and shortly afterwards, transitioned into the Mommy Wardrobe of jeans and shirts, and when I’m dressing up I’m usually in long dresses or skirts. I have a few knee-length skirts, but those only come out on rare occasions.

So, where am I going with all of this? Well, since I have two ladies that are growing up Muslim, I have had to consider what I am modeling for them in terms of modesty, what is appropriate dress and what is not. What I wear inside of my house, and what I wear when I go out in public. What I wear when I know I’m meeting conservative Muslims is different to an extent than what I wear when I’m with moderately religious friends. When I’m picking the ladies up from school, I always make sure to have a jacket or sweater in the car to throw on that covers my arms and behind, but I’ve been known to throw that on over a pair of capris in the warmer months.

So, now that I’m working at an Islamic School, part of the dress code is for me to wear a Jilbab or Abaya or something similar. The guidance was basically “the longer and baggier it is, the better.” This missive has sent me back to reconsidering my wardrobe again, and thinking of creative ways of adapting my style to fit into this framework. I have tried to wear Middle Eastern clothing, and I always feel uncomfortable. I have a denim dress that I’ve worn to work that fits the bill in terms of the dress code, but I don’t feel like I’ve got my game on, I feel just left of center and not credible.

It is my hope that by considering this wardrobe challenge a way to stretch myself and figure out a happy middle, I can reach out to others who may feel something similar. I can’t just put on a Jilbab like a work uniform, because it carries so much more meaning for me than a set of scrubs or lab coat ever would.

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