Racism in My Life

Last updated on: December 19, 2020 at 11:54 am by Kristina ElSayed

Racism in My Life 2020-12-19T11:54:16-04:00 Kristina ElSayed

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Have you ever had to deal with Racism on a personal level? Had you ever, in the furthest reaches of your imagination, thought that by being with the man you love, you would have to deal with people hating you because of your skin?

About a month ago, I ‘overheard’ someone who I am acquainted with, make a racial slur in regards to a White/Christian woman who is married to an Arab/Muslim man. My acquaintance is a highly educated, well written, well read, Muslim woman, who lives in America and travels all over the world. Yet she didn’t get it, when I brought it to her attention that her words were hurtful.

It took me a long time of searching around within myself before I mentioned it to her. It immediately stung, and then it took me back to that place, where when I was first with my husband, and our relationship was still new. When we first started dating, I was in my mid – 20’s and still in college. Khaled was already working in his profession, and had lived here for already 12+ years. We would travel to a nearby city that has a high concentration of Middle Eastern immigrants and descendants, for dinner, shopping and generally hanging out. Most often it was my idea, because I thought that by hanging out there, I would get to know the dynamics of the cultural stuff that flummoxed me. Plus, I was intrigued by all the different foods and cooking gadgets and clothing and sweets.

I got used to the men not speaking to me, not even noticing that I was in the room. I quickly understood that if I wanted something from the shopkeeper, I had to ask Khaled to ask the man to get it for me. After many discussions, I understood that this was a cultural form of respect. Respect of me, and showing respect to Khaled. When we went to shops where I would normally go shopping by myself, he made sure to introduce me to the shopkeepers. He said this way, he brought me to their attention and they would be nice to me, again, out of respect to him when I was shopping alone.

What I was not prepared for, and neither was my husband, was the female salesgirls. We would go into restaurants, and the female servers would be cordial, but speak to us as though I was a passing fancy before he got a wife from back home. The counter girls at the sweet shop would pretend not to understand English when I tried to speak with them, and would sneer at me. Sometimes, they would skip me in line and go on to wait on the Arabic woman next to me. They would make comments to each other, in Arabic, about me, right in front of my face. How, I wasn’t good enough and What was he doing with that White Girl?

When I was young and new in my relationship and in the community, it hurt. I made jokes about it, and I even warned my sister-in-law when we took her and my brother out to dinner in that city. I told her the sweets were to die for, but the service is harsh. Afterwards she said she wouldn’t shop there again, just because of the way the servers treated us.

Now that I’ve been with my husband for almost 14 years, I’ve learned that when I go into a shop where there is a snarky female and I have to deal with her, I speak loud and clear and look her right in the eye. I make her pay attention to me, because if she didn’t she would get in trouble with her boss. I am polite, but I don’t let her have the upper hand.

When I go to the Mosque, and to drop my girls off at school, I say “Good Morning” to everyone that meets my eye, and when I am out shopping, or at the park and I pass by a Muslimah, I “Salaam” her. I am proud to greet these women and be an ambassador of acceptance and kindness. I am part of the Islamic Community in my city and in America. I belong.

What doesn’t belong, is racial slurs. It is bigotry and it’s not good for my Chi. It hurts and I don’t have time for that.

Personal

Previous Post

August 4, 2010

What's This About?

Next Post

August 10, 2010 Turkish Delights

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Beyond Etsy Blog Posts Books Educational Gadgets Hijabs In the House Jewelry On Etsy Personal Ramadan Reader Questions Reader Response Recipes Resources Uncategorized Videos

Select a Month April 2020 January 2020 September 2019 March 2019 December 2018 September 2018 June 2018 May 2018 March 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

I am the wage you've earned through sin, but my opposite is a gift freely given. What am I?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Hell Death Separation Punishment