Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Muslimah Next Door

Home
Muslim
To Sleep, Perchance to Dream. There’s the (Autistic) Rub

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream. There’s the (Autistic) Rub

Last updated on: April 8, 2016 at 9:34 pm by Dilshad Ali

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream. There’s the (Autistic) Rub 2016-04-08T21:34:28-04:00 Dilshad Ali

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Ali Family Autism Truths #8 – April 8, 2016

At 5:30 a.m., my phone rang. Or rather, it vibrated on the nightstand next to my bed. When I woke out of deep sleep to its hum and grabbed it, bleary eyed, I saw that it was my mother-in-law, calling from downstairs (where their bedroom is).

I began to panic. With my father-in-law home from the hospital seven days ago after his triple bypass surgery, and with them sleeping by themselves downstairs the past three days, the rule was that they should call and wake us up if anything was amiss with my father-in-law.

I quickly called back.

Is everything ok? I asked.

Ha beta. (Yes, dear.) D has been up since 4:30 a.m. and came downstairs to where we are. He seems sleepy now. Maybe you should take him back to his room?

I breathed a sigh of relief, then got out of bed and went downstairs.

D came up willingly with me and got into bed and under his covers. I gently reprimanded him to go back to sleep, as it was too early to wake up. Or, just please stay in his room. Then I lumbered back to my room and fell back asleep. I don’t like to sleep when he is awake, not knowing what he may get into, or if he may go downstairs and eat things he really shouldn’t be eating. Or the worst – open the locks and wander outside. (He hasn’t done that in a few years, but once your kid does something like that a few times, the fear never leaves you.)

But the past few days had been rather exhausting, between work, the kids’ drop offs and pickups from school, my father-in-law’s appointments and care (which was more so being managed by my mother-in-law) and a thousand other things. That night I slept more deeply than I ever do. And, when I woke again an hour later, D was back downstairs, his mouth stuffed with rice from rice cooker and bits of rice all over the floor.

And here we are now, 9 p.m. at night, and you wouldn’t know to look at him that he has been up since 4:30 a.m., and that the day and night before this one was fraught with anxiety, tears and meltdowns — ending with me getting in bed with D after feeding him a second meal at 11 pm, and both of us falling asleep somewhere between midnight and 1 a.m.

D and sleep are uneasy partners. It’s that way for a fair number of people with autism. For various neurological, medical and other unknown reasons, sleep can be elusive, broken and downright seemingly unnecessary. And so, when you think the night-time awakenings and sleep battles will end when your child grows past the toddler phase — that may very much not be the case with autistic kids or adults.

Certainly I’ve spent more nights then I can remember trying to soothe D to sleep, or holding my breath that he does not wake up (because he’ll never fall back asleep). When we lived in small apartments and shared bedroom, the struggle was really real. Any noise would wake him. Try a situation where parents, an infant and an autistic three or four-year-old share a bedroom. Yeah. Not easy.

And so although we are here now, with a much better handle on D’s sleep, with supports and other things in place to help him get into a sleepy-mode, with much better knowledge of what makes him anxious, what riles him up and what can help bring some peace – it’s still hit or miss.

Some nights are full of anxiety and tears, when all I can do is be present with him, not touching him or getting too close, because my touch is irritating to his sensory-laden body. Other nights he’ll allow me to lie next to him, the warmth of me nearby acting as a soother. And, more nights than others, he will drift off to sleep on his own after following a structured bedtime routine.

It’s funny, the things in life that become so important and meaningful to you when you realize how elusive or difficult they can be. Your health. Your peace of mind. Your happiness. Your relationships and love given to and received from others.

Your sleep.

The truth is, nothing in this world matters more than a rested mind and body. May D have that. May we all.

Stay in touch! Like Muslimah Next Door on Facebook:

Muslimah Next Door/a>

Autism Awareness Month 2016

Uncategorized

Ali Family Autism Truths

Previous Post

April 7, 2016

Conversations with Daughter A: Laying Down Truths in School

Next Post

April 9, 2016 It'll Never Be Enough

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category A Global Voice for Autism Autism Awareness Month 2016 Autism Awareness Month 2017 Autism Interlude Hajj and Eid ul Adha Jenin Autism Project Ramadan Three Questions Uncategorized WISE Global Conference

Select a Month November 2018 October 2018 August 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What does "Rabboni" mean, as Mary Magdalene called Jesus after the resurrection?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Teacher Shepherd Messenger Savior