Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Muslimah Next Door

Home
Muslim
A Bus Story – The Small Things That Matter

A Bus Story – The Small Things That Matter

Last updated on: September 13, 2013 at 4:04 pm by Dilshad Ali

A Bus Story – The Small Things That Matter 2013-09-13T16:04:33-04:00 Dilshad Ali

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

You guys. You guys!

I was working on a post, something I had been mulling over the past two weeks, but I have to put that aside and share this. Because it matters. It’s so small, so seemingly insignificant, but it really, really matters.

Lil D came home on the bus today. Since school started up two weeks ago and with my in-laws out of town, I am left to manage the afternoon bus/pick-up schedule by myself most days. With Hamza in kindergarten in a school that doesn’t have bussing, I have to pick him up, which clashes with Lil D’s bus drop-off time.

So many days I’m picking up Lil D in the afternoon and then swinging to the other side of town to get Hamza before going home. The few days when my husband has some time and can get Hamza, Lil D then rides the bus home.

I haven’t minded this erratic schedule so far because I like bringing Lil D home. The afternoon bus ride has always been the most difficult and trickiest for him, especially the last two years. He’s tired at the end of the day and sometimes the bus is hot (and this summer, not air conditioned, which caused me to yank him from the afternoon ride home during the hottest weeks.)

And, as much as I can just cancel the bus altogether and do drop-offs and pick-ups all the time, I like for him to ride – it’s a constant challenge he is dealing with – how to regulate himself, handle a bus ride, sit appropriately and keep calm. But it’s a constant challenge for me as well – keeping a good relationship with his driver and bus aide, making helpful suggestions when necessary and holding back when needed.

It’s really a delicate balance. I want him to ride, but to do so I have to dance the dance with the transportation department. During certain periods when he is having difficulties and acting up on the bus, I pull him off to avoid something bad happening. (Because you never know when meltdowns could turn into aggression, which could lead to suspension. Besides, it’s better for him to take a break during those times.)

Lil D’s latest OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) behavior has also made his bus ride challenging. For a few months now, he’s been drawing his arms into his shirts, which seems pretty harmless on face value. But, it has become incredibly problematic , especially on the bus where he wears a harness. He wants to draw his arms in, and the harness restricts this behavior, which leads to meltdowns.

We requested a new, bigger harness and received it. And so while wearing that, he is able to draw his arms in. I feel like I’m perpetuating the problem, but it’s the best solution I can come up with for now.

So, back to the story — He comes home today, already off the bus and walking up driveway as I walk down to meet him. I turn to go back inside with him when the aide calls me to the bus:

I just want to tell you that he’s doing so much better on the bus! I saw that he wanted to be able to move his upper body around and pull his arms him, and when he couldn’t he was getting upset. So the past couple of times I didn’t fasten the upper part of the harness and just did the lower part. He seems to be handling it pretty well and seems more comfortable.

My face lit up. Thank you! Thank you! Thanks for paying attention to his needs and trying something new out.

Folks – this is the first time in ten years of riding the bus that a bus aide observed something about Lil D and then tried a solution to help him. This. Is. Huge!

Of course he’s had a few great bus drivers and aides in the past, to which I am very grateful for their care. Drivers and aides who pay attention to when he is having bad weeks, who treat him with respect and dignity, who ask me why he does certain things or gets upset from time to time.

But this is the first one who observed what he was doing, how he was uncomfortable and then did something to help him. And it is helping.

I texted my husband this news as soon as I came inside with Lil D. God bless her, he texted back to me.

You guys. You guys! This is the community of care I’m talking about. This is all the heart-wrenching efforts we make to send him out there on his own, to trust those around him to be accepting of him, care for him and help him. This is someone who not just straps Lil D into his seat every day, but watches to see what is agitating him and then does something about it.

These are the small, tiny gestures that mean so much to a special needs child and his family.

This.

community-based instruction

Lil D

special needs

Previous Post

September 11, 2013

9/11 - How Do We Keep Praying When it Often Feels Like too Much?

Next Post

September 19, 2013 A Big Brother in Autism Land

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category A Global Voice for Autism Autism Awareness Month 2016 Autism Awareness Month 2017 Autism Interlude Hajj and Eid ul Adha Jenin Autism Project Ramadan Three Questions Uncategorized WISE Global Conference

Select a Month November 2018 October 2018 August 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which book comes immediately after the Gospels in the New Testament?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Romans 1 Corinthians Acts Hebrews