Gossip Between Husband and Wife

Last updated on: February 18, 2011 at 1:23 pm by Nancy Qualls-Shehata

Gossip Between Husband and Wife 2011-02-18T13:23:00-05:00 Nancy Qualls-Shehata

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

Salaam Alaikum wa Rahmatullah

I was scrolling through my FB status updates and came across a posting regarding gossip. It reminded me that I’ve been meaning to mention something for a long time. Now is as good a time as any:

For my dear brothers and sisters who are married, gossip is gossip even if it is between husband and wife. It is gossip if you are talking about others in your family, it is gossip of you are talking about people at the masjid, it is gossip if you are talking about people at work.

So many people have a blind spot in regards to their spouses. Due to the normal intimacy of the marital relationship, we have a tendency to want to share everything. This results in us talking about things that we shouldn’t. This is damaging to everyone because once something is said it can’t be unsaid.

Let’s use a fictional example. Said comes home from the masjid, and says salaam to his wife Ameenah. He is bursting with news. Is he going to give her some naseehah and tell her what the khutbah was about? Why, no, that’s not news. He wants to hurry up and tell her what he heard from Yusef, who heard from Ahmed, who works for Abdallah, that this guy he knows casually from the masjid, whose name is Ali, went and got secretly married when he took a vacation to his home country. And the wife is jealous, and she is beautiful, and she wants to come to the US, and she wants him to divorce his first wife, and…. and…. and. You get the idea. Said shares all the news, all the juicy details, and forever changes his wife’s impression of Ali, whom she’s never even met but already dislikes. They chew over the issue, with Ameenah clucking in disapproval and Said saying “I know” as if he does know but of course he doesn’t because he’s getting this “news” fourth hand. “Oh, and by the way, the Imaam talked about surat al Kahf today”, he says in passing before going to the den for a nap.

So, what has happened here? Said has shared information that he does not even know is true, and even if it is, it’s none of his business. He’s compromised the privacy of a brother and affected how his wife views him. Now, imagine it’s a couple of months later and Ameenah is in the masjid for a potluck dinner. She’s introduced to a lady who she realizes is the (possibly first) wife of the aforementioned Ali. Now, instead of one sister greeting another with a pure heart, she has mental reservations because of the information she has.

It’s even worse when we talk about family members, because we are more apt to come into contact with them. I know it’s tempting to talk about things with your husband or wife, but honestly, think before you speak. You might cause your husband to hate your sister, or your wife to dislike your mother, all because you talked about some private matter that was better left unsaid. Think before you speak. It’s tempting to think we can share everything with our spouse but that’s not the case. Sometimes we should just keep our yaps shut and not say anything. Yes, it’s hard. But it’s also Islamic:

Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:

“A sign of one’s excellence in his Islam, is ignoring what does not concern him.” (Ahmad, Malik & At-Tirmithi)

Ignoring what does not concern you

Uncategorized

Previous Post

February 16, 2011

Sunnifornication

Next Post

February 23, 2011 The Blessings of a Small Bathroom

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Criminal Justic Current Events Islam prom Satire Uncategorized

Select a Month April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 May 2014 December 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 August 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

True or False: Paul taught that there is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, neither male nor female, for all are one in Christ Jesus.

Select your answer to see how you score.

TRUE FALSE