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Muslimah in Progress

Where is it safe to raise our kids?

Last updated on: February 5, 2009 at 10:43 am   by Nancy Qualls-Shehata

Where is it safe to raise our kids? 2009-02-05T10:43:00-05:00 Nancy Qualls-Shehata

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Someone commented on my “40 questions” note, on Facebook about not wanting her kids to grow up in the US. Someone else asked why and she said she had seen other peoples’ kids turn out bad.Is it the US? Well, some might think so. I think it’s not that simple.

My husband is from Egypt. Now, Egypt is ostensibly a “Muslim” country. But trust me, it has many if not most of the ills that you find here in the US. The corruption is actually worse in many ways. Bribery, “baksheesh” , is a daily affair. Bribe the guy to find you a better parking space, bribe the guy to get your electricity turned on faster than a month, bribe a guy to give you a license for your business. Marriage is hard because people have unrealistic expectations about mahr, apartments are expensive, families cannot afford furniture and such.Men and women have affairs, or have “urfi” marriages that are really just affairs, girls and boys date just like here, kids drink and try drugs – heroin is easy to get if you know where to go, and hashish is everywhere. People are physically ill because they use pesticides on the crops in large amounts, the water is impure, and the infrastructure is shot. People are mentally ill because they are constantly stressed about money. The relations between men and women are unhealthy.

I could go on…. I could tell you a thousand stories of families in trouble. Muslim families, families who fast and pray but who realy don’t know how to live according to the Qur’an and Sunnah, and a despotic government that cannot see to the needs of its people.Here’s what I think…. I think this world is in sad shape. I think most people all over the world are in a state of loss. We have no Khalifah, we have no real leaders, though there are some wonderful scholars who are still teaching and there are good people everywhere who are still striving to live lives pleasing to Allah. What we need to do, as striving Muslims who are conscious of our faith, is to find other like-minded Muslims and band together. Band together in the US, in the UK, in Egypt, in Saudi Arabia, in Pakistan, in Indonesia. We will be small, outnumbered minorities wherever we go, but we will recognize each other. We should make strong micro-communities where we can do our best to protect ourselves and our children, and we should all be active in making da’wah to our relatives, our neighbors, and our political leaders, as best we can. This is what is left to us.

Being in the US is no guarantee that your children will grow up to be corrupt. Being in Saudi Arabia, or Pakistan, or Egypt, or Sudan, is no guarantee that they will grow up to be strong Muslims. PARENTS have the biggest influence. If you make Islam a daily priority in your life, and you live as best you can according to the Qur’an and Sunnah, if you are vigilant with yourself and your children, no matter what country you live in you will, inshAllah, raise a child with taqwa and toughness, the toughness necessary to survive in this dunya. This dunya is a test. It won’t be easy anywhere, but it is a worthy task. And Allah knows best.

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