Thoughts on Masturbation from Blaire Ostler

Last updated on: August 27, 2019 at 11:00 am by Natasha Helfer

Thoughts on Masturbation from Blaire Ostler 2019-08-26T18:51:32-05:00 Natasha Helfer

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

This is one of the most powerful sex-positive pieces I’ve recently read. Blaire Ostler has become one of my favorite authors and I’m so glad she continues to allow me to feature her work. She addresses so many sexual issues in this poignant piece that I’ve been passionately addressing for years: importance of self-autonomy and authority; importance of not buying into “ownership” dynamics; and importance of prioritizing pleasure as a legitimate need and self-care tool. We need lots more of THIS!

Today’s guest post is written by Blaire Ostler. Opinions shared on guest posts may not completely reflect the positions of the blog’s author.

Blaire Ostler is a philosopher and leading voice at the intersection of queer, Mormon, and transhumanist thought. She is a board member and former CEO of the Mormon Transhumanist Association, the world’s largest advocacy network for the ethical use of technology and religion to expand human abilities. She presents and writes on many forums, and speaks at conferences promoting authentic Mormonism. Blaire holds a degree in design from the International Academy of Design and Technology-Seattle. She is currently pursuing a second degree in philosophy with an emphasis in gender studies. She is also an artist, and spends her spare time hiking, painting, writing, and bickering with her friends about almost any topic imaginable. Blaire and husband Drew reside in Utah with their three children.

Thoughts on masturbation (because a friend asked).

My body has been through a lot of trauma. I have experienced sexual assault while being laughed at. I have experienced physical assault. As a teenager, I had a stress fracture in my spine. My body has healed broken bones, torn ligaments, lacerations, burns, cuts, and bruises. My body has fought off viruses and infections. I have experienced three excruciating pregnancies. My nipples have been sucked by babies until they were raw and bleeding. I have had eight surgeries, three of which were C-sections. I have had scalpels shoved up my rectal cavity, cut my abdomen, sliced my breasts, my uterus, my fallopian tubes, my legs, and my mouth. I have the scars to prove it. My naked body has been photographed inside and out to be catalogued and documented in medical journals.

My body has been through hell and back. Yet, I’m still standing.

Suffice to say, anytime my body wants some pleasure, I am going to give my body some pleasure. I hold the keys to the pleasure centers of my body. No other person gets to have control over when or if I get to orgasm. And if I so choose, I will share the keys of the pleasure centers of my body (consensually) with those who I deem worthy. But those keys belong to me and no one else—and they certainly don’t belong to my husband.

My husband may or may not be a part of my orgasms. The only reason he gets to experience the pleasure centers of my body with me is because I have invited him into those sacred spaces. He does not own my body or my ability to experience orgasm. He is not entitled to my orgasms. Those who have told me my orgasms are to be given exclusively to my husband were attempting harness my body’s power into the indentured servitude of men through shame tactics. My orgasms will not be held ransom by shame.

They cannot take away my power with their shame. My body is magical. My body is powerful. My pleasure is sacred, and I’m unashamed.

Natasha Helfer Parker, LCMFT, CST can be reached at natashaparker.org and runs an online practice, Symmetry Solutions, which focuses on helping families and individuals with faith concerns, sexuality and mental health. She hosts the Mormon Mental Health and Mormon Sex Info Podcasts, is the current past president of the Mormon Mental Health Association and runs a sex education program, Sex Talk with Natasha. She has over 20 years of experience working with primarily an LDS/Mormon clientele.

Previous Post

August 26, 2019

September Workshop--Get Your Tickets Now!

Next Post

August 29, 2019 Dear Elder Hathaway... your remarks are inexcusable...

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abortion Abuse Addiction Adolescents Anger Anxiety BDSM Bipolar Disorder Body Image Boundaries Children Circumcision Civil Rights Consent COVID19-Coronavirus Death Depression Divorce Domestic Violence Emotional Abuse Erectile Dysfunction Faith Crisis/Faith Transition Gender Identity Gender Roles Gospel Teachings Grief Homosexuality Infidelity LGBTQ LGBTQ+ Male Issues Marriage Masturbation Menopause Mental Health Mindfulness Miscarriage Missions Mixed-Faith Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Parenting Perfectionism Physical Abuse Physical Health Pornography Premature Ejaculation PTSD Race Relations Relationships Rest Righteousness Self Care Self Injury Self-Esteem Sexual Abuse Sexual Disorders Sexual Education Sexuality Single Adults Social Media Spirituality Suicide Survey Temple Issues Transgender Health Trauma Uncategorized Violence Women's Issues Word of Wisdom

Select a Month September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 December 2018 November 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 March 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 July 2015 February 2015 January 2015 November 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 April 2014 February 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 May 2012 April 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What prophet was taken up to heaven in a chariot of fire?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Elisha Jeremiah Elijah Isaiah