Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

The Mormon Therapist

Home
Latter-day Saint
Health, Fitness and Religion
Forced to Look at Our Straight Privilege

Forced to Look at Our Straight Privilege

Last updated on: August 10, 2017 at 9:57 am by Natasha Helfer

Forced to Look at Our Straight Privilege 2017-08-10T09:57:26-05:00 Natasha Helfer

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Image found on Bing.com “free to share and use” page.

A 12-year old young woman forced us, as an LDS membership this past week, to look at our privilege as heterosexual members straight in the face. I’ve seen many comments about the intent of the young woman or her family, whether or not it was appropriate to share this type of a testimony, etc… But these arguments miss the point entirely.

First of all, straight members never need to defend their orientation in any type of setting at church. The assumption just exists that everyone is heterosexual. Secondly, if we take out the “gay” parts of her shared words… you can quickly see that we hear these types of messages in testimony meetings all the time, and find them completely appropriate. These issues are what define the word “privilege.” Some of us get to do things and say things that others don’t because of certain factors (such as orientation, race, culture, religious background, ethnicity, gender, disability, etc.). The Oxford dictionary defines privilege as: A special right, advantage, or immunity granted or available only to a particular person or group.

Let’s give an example where I have edited the original testimony to what a straight young woman might have said instead:

I want to share my testimony with you. I believe I am a child of Heavenly Parents. I don’t know if they talk to us but I feel in my heart that they made me and that they love me.

I believe I was made the way I am, all parts of me, by my Heavenly Parents.

They did not mess up when they gave me brown eyes or when I was born bald. They did not mess up when they gave me freckles or when they made me have feelings for boys.

God loves me just this way because I believe he loves all his creations.

I believe he made me the way I am intentionally. No part of me is a mistake.

I believe God wants us to treat each other with kindness even if people are different.

Especially if they are different.

Christ showed us this.

I believe that we should just love. I believe I’m good.

I try my best to be nice to others and stick up for those that are hurting.

I know I’m not a horrible sinner for being who I am. I believe that God would tell me if I was wrong in my beliefs.

I hope someday to go on dates, go to school dances, to hold hands with a boy and go off to college.

I hope to find a partner and have a great job. I hope to get married and have a family.

I know these dreams and wishes are good and right.

I know I can have all of these things as a married woman and be happy.

I believe that God is there, he knows I am perfect, just the way I am, and would never ask me to live my life alone, without a partner I love and am attracted to.

He would want me to be happy. I want to be happy.

I want to love myself and not feel shame for being me.

I ask that you all pay close attention to what you say. You never know who is listening.

I have dreams of going to the temple and getting married and I was so happy when I found out that this could be a possibility for me. I find my joy in these dreams I’ve had since I was little.

I know my earthly and my Heavenly Parents love and accept me just the way I am.

Amen.

I’d like to invite LDS members everywhere, especially the leaders who played a role in developing the policies that were announced in 2015 affecting our LGBT+ siblings and their families… to consider this privilege. To consider what it might be like for a young person in our church who receives the messages found in our Primary manual of loving Heavenly Parents who are our creators… and yet as they hit pre-adolescene and forward are made to understand that the same desires for family, companionship and correct developmental milestones are not meant for them. And how that puts them in the impossible conundrum of having to choose between their beloved faith and relationship to the gospel of Jesus Christ as our church currently understands it… and their own personal health and wellbeing from an emotional, spiritual and physical perspective. This is unnecessarily tragic. Why does a straight 12-year old get to have a profoundly different experience on their journey back to loving Heavenly Parents than a gay 12-year old? I know there can be many answers to this question. But mine is the following: unrighteous “traditions of their fathers.” And until we are willing to pluck these traditions from our midst, the pure message of Christ held within the Gospel will forever be tainted.

Godspeed young LGBT+ members of our church. Godspeed.

Side Note: Nothing shared in the original testimony goes against doctrine and much of what she shares can be found supported by the church’s website (except for when she says she believes she can be happy married as a lesbian – our current teaching of the Plan of Happiness does not allow for this). But her comments about “not choosing” to be gay and that her Heavenly Parents made her the way she is… and that “being gay is not contagious”… this would all be congruent with current LDS beliefs. Her message really beautifully focuses most on teachings of divine worth, charity, personal revelation and kindness. I’ve heard countless non-doctrine supported testimonies over the pulpit by grown adults who never had the microphone shut off on them. Which, again, speaks to the discomfort we currently feel as an LDS culture on this particular topic.

Mormon and Gay

If you’re interested in hearing the original testimony that was shared over the pulpit you can hit the following link of an interview I did:

Savannah Bears her Testimony, “I’m Gay”

Natasha Helfer Parker, LCMFT, CST can be reached at natashaparker.org and runs an online practice, Symmetry Solutions, which focuses on helping families and individuals with faith concerns, sexuality and mental health. She hosts the Mormon Mental Health and Mormon Sex Info Podcasts, writes a regular column for Sunstone Magazine and is the current president of the Mormon Mental Health Association. She has over 20 years of experience working with primarily an LDS/Mormon clientele.

Previous Post

May 15, 2017

Mother's Day Tribute

Next Post

July 2, 2017 Sabbath Delight

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Abortion Abuse Addiction Adolescents Anger Anxiety BDSM Bipolar Disorder Body Image Boundaries Children Circumcision Civil Rights Consent COVID19-Coronavirus Death Depression Divorce Domestic Violence Emotional Abuse Erectile Dysfunction Faith Crisis/Faith Transition Gender Identity Gender Roles Gospel Teachings Grief Homosexuality Infidelity LGBTQ LGBTQ+ Male Issues Marriage Masturbation Menopause Mental Health Mindfulness Miscarriage Missions Mixed-Faith Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Parenting Perfectionism Physical Abuse Physical Health Pornography Premature Ejaculation PTSD Race Relations Relationships Rest Righteousness Self Care Self Injury Self-Esteem Sexual Abuse Sexual Disorders Sexual Education Sexuality Single Adults Social Media Spirituality Suicide Survey Temple Issues Transgender Health Trauma Uncategorized Violence Women's Issues Word of Wisdom

Select a Month September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 December 2018 November 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 March 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 July 2015 February 2015 January 2015 November 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 April 2014 February 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 May 2012 April 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was the first Judge of Israel?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Gideon Deborah Samson Othniel