Do I have a hyper active libido?

Last updated on: October 14, 2012 at 11:58 pm by Natasha Helfer

Do I have a hyper active libido? 2012-10-14T23:58:01-05:00 Natasha Helfer

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I am a 21 year old single Male and have been dealing with OCD for about 5 years now. I have recently discovered, by reading your blog, that my conditions perfectly fit the description of hyper active libido. I have struggled with masturbation for much of those 5 years and could not figure out why I could not stop. I do not view pornography, and consider that a blessing. However my drive keeps me committing that sexual action of masturbation over and over. It happens at least a few times a week if not every day, depending on the week. Recently I was put on an upped dosage (30 mg) of lexapro for my depression, and it helped to lower the libido somewhat. However, I still mentally have the desire to commit the act. In one experience it took a whole half an hour for the orgasm to occur, this I attribute to the lexapro. However due to my OCD, I was constantly battling with my self wether I should be doing what I was doing while in process, though had no intention of stopping, as I felt I had to finish. This internal battle caused me to nearly faint with mental stress.

My concern is, there is currently no specific doctrine from the church on this issue given the circumstance of having OCD and therefore hyper active libido. I constantly am feeling guilty during the process of doing the act, and it makes me feel miserable, yet somehow I can’t stay away from it, even though I am not feeding it with pornography.

I have recently found that I am more at peace because of counsel from a friend about the savior and his atonement, how he will cover the “sin” of my action whether it was due to illness or physical appetite, he only requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit. I realize i have kind of answered my own question, but I would love to see if you have any additional advice, I would love to hear it. Thanks – I’ve submitted a donation.

A few thoughts:

The frequency you report as to masturbation does not qualify you for “hyperactive libido”, sex addiction or any other sexual disorder. In fact “hyperactive libido” is not a diagnosable term. I have heard of cases where people will masturbate somewhere around 10 times a day or are experiencing genital soreness, rawness and/or chafing due to frequent masturbation. The reason this type of behavior becomes problematic is that it is affecting a person’s quality of daily life.
Just because your behavior doesn’t fall in line with the high sexual expectations in the church does not mean you have a diagnosable disorder. When I speak with LDS members in sessions I will often clarify when I have my “Mormon” hat on versus my “mental health professional” hat on. It is important for members to recognize the distinction between what is considered unhealthy behavior from a medical perspective versus what is considered acceptable or unacceptable behavior within their religious dogma/culture.
Yes, some drugs such as Lexapro can have sexual side effects such as lower libido and problems with ejaculation/orgasm.
The OCD is the bigger concern here and may be causing some issues that would fit the bill for “scrupulosity.” This would entail taking your religious beliefs and “obsessing” about certain aspects of them and applying rigid and unforgiving concepts towards yourself. The catch 22 you find yourself in is that the best remedy for actually stopping behaviors you are uncomfortable with is becoming less stringent with yourself about them to begin with. Acceptance that you are a sexual man and that your drive is perfectly normal and healthy will be important concepts for you to work on. Your sexual drive is a biological force and should be expected to gain in intensity when puberty occurs – and going forward. Inappropriate guilt, shame and fear are your number one enemies – not masturbation. The counsel from your friend goes right along with this.
If you want to lower your frequency of masturbation because of your LDS beliefs, then that is legitimate as well. Just make sure that this goal is more about having your behavior resonate with the law of chastity from the viewpoint of it being for your benefit than it being about feeling awful about yourself when you don’t live up to “perfection.”
I’m glad that you brought up the fact that you don’t look at pornography. Many LDS people have the misperception that these two always go hand in hand when this is absolutely not the case. Putting on my “Mormon hat,” my opinion would be that viewing pornography is not an acceptable behavior per our standards. I also feel that from a “mental health professional” point of view, it has some problematic aspects attached to it as well. Of course, many members view or have viewed pornography at varying degrees of concern and shaming themselves over this is not helpful to stopping this behavior either.
I have written extensively about my stances on both masturbation and pornography on this blog and encourage you to look up some of my previous posts under the label section on the sidelines.

A health brochure from the McKinley Health Center states:

“People often wonder about the normal amount of masturbation. Each person must decide for himself or herself how much to masturbate. Professionals agree that there are no physical or mental implications for frequent masturbation, unless it is symptomatic of an obsessive/compulsive disorder (OCD). Symptoms of OCD are repeatedly performing a behavior to the extent that it interferes with daily functioning, professional responsibilities, or personal relationships.

Behaviors that are performed to reduce stress or alleviate tension, including masturbation, are not considered symptomatic of a disorder unless they interfere with a person’s daily personal or professional life or hinder a person from fulfilling their responsibilities and commitments.”

On a side note, I can no longer find any reference to the actual word “masturbation” in any of the updated manuals such as the “For the Strength of Youth” pamphlet or the new Church Handbook of Instructions. What this does or does not mean, I don’t pretend to know. I will go on record to say that I strongly disagree with the following statement being included in the “For the Strength of Youth”: The prophet Alma taught that sexual sins are more serious than any other sins except murder or denying the Holy Ghost (seeAlma 39:5). When I think of sexual sins that compare to murder, I think of sins committed by accountable adults that are criminal and rob the agency of their victim: rape, incest, exploitation, sexual slavery, child pornography, etc. To place this type of highly charged statement into a document read by our youth primarily dealing with sexual behavior such as masturbation, viewing pornography, and/or having consensual premarital sex is, in my opinion, irresponsible, misleading and contributes to issues such as scrupulosity, inappropriate guilt/shame, suicide, and strained relationships between youth and their parents/leaders. What a tragic disservice we will be held accountable for!

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