Going through menopause…

Last updated on: October 14, 2012 at 11:52 pm by Natasha Helfer

Going through menopause… 2012-10-14T23:52:02-05:00 Natasha Helfer

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I have been going through menopause and for several years have been dealing with several sexual symptoms, including vaginal dryness and decreased clitoral sensitivity which of course has resulted in problems reaching orgasms. My husband and I have been working very hard to keep our sexual life alive and trying to find solutions for these problems so that sex could be enjoyable for me too. The good news is I have made some progress. But in order to make the progress thus far, I have had to reform some of my “Mormon” thinking about sex, especially masturbation and vibrators. I am sure there are many who would not agree with our choices, but to me it came down to giving up my enjoyment of sex or keeping it alive. We are both in our early 50’s and hope to have many years ahead of us. We opted to keep the enjoyment alive for both of us! If that is wrong then so be it!!!I just wanted you to know that I recently found your blog and am finding it very helpful. I am especially grateful that I read this post which directed me to the vaginal renewal technique. I have been following this procedure daily for about two weeks now and have so far found it very helpful as it seems to do what it says it will do. We are also seeing a sex therapist and she agreed that it would be a beneficial technique worth continuing.

You are in luck: because in no church handbook that I’ve come across does it say: “You are only sexually allowed to do what most Mormons would agree with.” In fact, from the limited information you share, I am perfectly comfortable giving you my professional and spiritual opinion that you are operating in the realm of “relational” sexuality. What that type of sexuality will consist of is up to you and your husband. As long as it is “relational” (meaning the two of you are aware and in agreement with your sexual exploration and that it only involves variations of the two of you – in other words no orgies, spouse swapping or pornography) then this is an appropriate, even essential, part of your matrimonial bond. I am so pleased to hear that you are both willing to challenge old ways of thinking and are prioritizing this sacred and important part of your overall intimacy as a couple. Hurrah for the sexual diva within you and for your willingness and determination to claim this part of your self, your life and your pleasure! I wish you the very best in your ongoing journey and am so glad that this blog has served as a useful resource for you.
Do not be surprised when working on the physical intimacy of your couplehood – that many other forms of intimacy will be positively affected as well (emotional, spiritual, intellectual). Menopause is not the end of female sexuality. In fact, it can be a new beginning with unbounded possibilities. Enjoy!

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