I was successful in abstaining from masturbation.

Last updated on: September 24, 2012 at 9:59 pm by Natasha Helfer

I was successful in abstaining from masturbation. 2012-09-24T21:59:26-05:00 Natasha Helfer

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I’d like to politely disagree with one of your statements here, “Although complete masturbatory abstinence may be the ideal we are all striving for, I would rather you be dealing with your sexuality through this release than move towards having inappropriate sexual experiences before marriage with another person.” (post) I find it interesting that other outlets for sexual feelings and frustration are not discussed in this context. I was single and celibate until I married in the temple at 28, and never once did I masturbate, despite intense sexual urges and desires. I knew as a single woman that I would love sex when I married and that I’d have a great sex life, and I do! But I practiced self-control in various ways. I worked out at the gym, including kickboxing. It is amazing how punching something really helps to alleviate the physical needs for orgasm. I prayed constantly for help. Not because I felt that my feelings were sinful, but that they couldn’t, at that time, be expressed. I wrote in my journal. I also tried to avoid situations where I knew I would have a sexual response, ie. tv, movies, books, magazines, songs that contained my personal triggers. Incidentally, the more tv I watched, the harder it was. Of course we all live in a very sexualized world, and I have no idea what I would have done had I not married; I’m not trying to judge anyone that is a struggling, sexual being (basically all single people!). But I do know that I was successful in abstaining from masturbation in a way that did not diminish my sexuality or my anticipation of sex in my marriage. It is possible!

I very much appreciate your comments. You are absolutely correct that there are many healthy coping strategies that help us deal with our sexual drives at times when we are supposed to abstain. Physical exercise, journal writing, prayer/fasting, checked environmental factors, positive social networks, and staying busy in worthwhile endeavors (i.e. work, studies, hobbies, etc.) are all an important part of the process of staying chaste as well as helping many other areas of our physical, emotional and spiritual development. I also commend you on how well you are able to speak of this time in your life as a challenge, but not so it caused you to have incorrect misinterpretations about your sexuality being sinful. I’m assuming you had positive role models available that offered healthy sexual education and examples. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on what was successful for you in a non-judgmental fashion.

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