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Comments on “Defining Pornography”

Comments on “Defining Pornography”

Last updated on: April 16, 2009 at 12:05 am by Natasha Helfer

Comments on “Defining Pornography” 2009-04-16T00:05:00-05:00 Natasha Helfer

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This struck home for me (Further comments on “How would you define pornography?”). I am a recovering (female) sex addict and I was in therapy for over a year for it. I couldn’t figure out at first why my therapist kept asking about how my parents raised me since I was never sexually abused and I couldn’t figure out what that had to do with it. I recall that one of my very first memories was I was playing with some action figures with my brother and I thought it was funny to mention one of the figure’s penis. My brother ran to tell my mother and she beat me for it. I was three. It’s still one of the most painful memories I have because to this day I can’t figure out why she did it. My therapist told me that my mother’s abuse, particularly centered around such a taboo subject as anything sexual, rewired my brain’s image of sex; some things about sex still confuse me, like what is appropriate and what is not and why. Sometimes I still say something that others find completely inappropriate and I don’t realize it until I see their reaction and only then is when I learn not to say that particular thing again. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that many in my situation began as I did, but I found those stats very enlightening. It’s nice not to feel alone, although I feel bad for all those who were raised like I was. Thanks for the information. And thanks for this blog, too. Reading through your thoughts on sex and what is healthy and what isn’t is very, very helpful. You wouldn’t think a grown woman would have difficulty figuring these things out, but I do; some aspects are a complete mystery to me. But your opinions help to reinforce for me that not all sex is bad. It takes years to re-rewire a brain, does it not? This really helps. Thanks.

Thank you so much for your complimentary comments and even more so, for sharing your very personal story. I am so glad to hear that you are getting the help you need and that you are on the wonderful road to recovery. It is a difficult yet worthwhile journey, as I’m sure you can attest to. You are most definitely not alone and many of us (grown women and men) struggle all of the time. How can we not, when many of us have not been educated properly or given the correct tools or role models to handle the very complex issue we call “sexuality?” And yes, it does take years. Because it took years to get us to where we were in the first place. But it is a wonderful thing to know that change is possible. And the doctrine surrounding the Atonement is SO powerful. I’m not sure any of us can truly comprehend its immense magnitude. Sometimes less so in our own personal lives and especially when it comes to our sexual mistakes or misconceptions.

I want to emphasize that SEX IS GOOD! It is of God! And it is a wonderful, sacred, bonding and procreative power. A gift that in essence allows a taste of divinity! May your brain accept this truth and let it seep into the deepest recesses of your being!

I’m glad you are finding this blog useful. My purpose is exactly this. To open up an honest conversation, to find out that there are others in similar situations with similar struggles, and to collectively find renewed hope. May you continue forward in your success and in your efforts!

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