{"id":1050,"date":"2024-06-24T09:47:40","date_gmt":"2024-06-24T14:47:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/?p=1050"},"modified":"2024-10-08T16:11:01","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T21:11:01","slug":"forgiving-when-others-negligence-causes-you-pain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.patheos.com\/blogs\/michelehowewrites\/2024\/06\/forgiving-when-others-negligence-causes-you-pain\/","title":{"rendered":"Forgiving When Others’ Negligence Causes You Pain"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<\/head>

\u00a0<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

For if you forgive men when they sin against you,\u00a0 your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.<\/em><\/p>\n

Matthew 6: 14<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

To forgive the incessant provocations of daily life \u2013 to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son \u2013 how can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night, \u2018Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us.\u2019 We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it is to refuse God\u2019s mercy for ourselves. There is no hint of exceptions and God means what he says.<\/p>\n

C.S. Lewis<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I believe that God brings courageous women across my path so that I can see firsthand what true selflessness, Christ-honoring servanthood, and miracles in the making look like up close and personal. And, He has done it over and over and over. In just the past few years, I\u2019ve listened to women tell me how they have had to take custody of their grandchildren because their adult child couldn\u2019t stay clean, stay sober, stay employed, stay out of casinos, or stay focused long enough to even remotely create a safe home for the children.<\/p>\n

Forgiveness can be costly<\/strong><\/h2>\n* ** *My friends have gone through the long and painful process of multiple court hearings where they have had to retell and rehash the horrendous details of neglect, abuse, and child endangerment in front of a judge and a room full of strangers. Again and again and again. Sadly, not all public servants are even remotely gracious to the grandparents who are stepping in to take over for their negligent adult children. Rather, they have been subject to verbal abuse, threats, and unwarranted aggression\u2026simply for wanting what is best for the grandchildren.<\/p>\n Love means stepping up and stepping in<\/strong><\/h2>\n Yet step up and step in they continue to do. Some of these grand<\/em><\/strong>parents have to take even more drastic measure to protect their grands\u2026. they are forced to file restraining orders and live in a constant state of offensive-alertness aware that their troubled adult children may attempt to kidnap their grandchildren. Others have adopted their grandchildren and are revisiting all the earlier-in-life parental decisions they never dreamed they would have to face again. Such parental considerations as: What school should their grandchildren attend? Sports? Clubs? Hobbies? Church functions? Choosing doctors, dentists, and more health related issues must be decided and\u00a0 revisited. Yes, these grand<\/em><\/strong>parents take on parenting some twenty years past their prime and they do so with amazing stamina and grit. All for the love of their grandchildren.<\/a><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0 \u00a0 *\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0*\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0*<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Of the countless conversations I\u2019ve had with my friends who have taken over raising their grandchildren, one constant rises to the top of the list of many specific responses, \u201cIt is so hard to work through this granting of forgiveness when we are paying the high price for our adult child\u2019s poor choices in life.\u201d Forgiveness. Since the whole painful scenario of raising one\u2019s grandchildren has arisen because of the adult child\u2019s lack of ability to do so\u2026blame can fast track itself into grandparents\u2019 hearts and minds. Grandparents struggle hard to keep their hearts and minds free of resentment and bitterness when they become the ones paying the price (and a heavy one it is) for their child\u2019s irresponsibility in life.<\/p>\n We are set free when we choose to forgive<\/strong><\/h2>\n******* ** *******This negativity can swiftly take on a life of its own after grandparents who have been caring for their grandchildren start to discover more and more emotional fallout as time presses on. The grandchildren are frequently emotionally broken, spiritually bereft, physically sick and more. Grandparents observe a rising tide of problems to overcome and are justifiably angry at their adult child\u2019s choices.<\/p>\n God gives us the supernatural grace to let go of offenses<\/strong><\/h2>\n What these grand<\/em><\/strong>parents tell me though is worth its weight in gold.<\/a> They say, \u201cUntil I asked God for the grace and the desire to forgive\u2026I felt as trapped and undone as my neglectful adult child.\u201d Forgiveness. It\u2019s a daily choice we all have to make and will always continue to repeat. No matter what my life circumstances, God\u2019s Word instructs me to forgive so that I will be forgiven. Take hold of this word picture for forgiven:\u00a0 I\u2019m only free of the pain you\u2019ve inflicted upon me (or someone I love) after I\u2019ve forgiven you. Lord, help us all get free, live free, and stay free. Amen.<\/p>\n<\/body><\/html>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u00a0 For if you forgive men when they sin against you,\u00a0 your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6: 14 \u00a0 To forgive the incessant provocations of daily life \u2013 to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5318,"featured_media":1059,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[74],"tags":[456,453,326],"class_list":["post-1050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-devotion","tag-forgiveness-sets-us-free","tag-forgiving-others-even-when-their-negligence-causes-you-pain","tag-god-gives-us-the-grace-to-forgive"],"yoast_head":"\nForgiving When Others' Negligence Causes You Pain Forgiving When Others' Negligence Causes You Pain<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What these grandparents tell me though is worth its weight in gold. 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