Fight For Authentic Friendship: Forgive Intentionally

Last updated on: April 27, 2026 at 10:10 am by Michele Howe

0 Comments

Fight For Authentic Friendship: Forgive Intentionally 2026-04-27T10:10:38-05:00 Michele Howe

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Fighting For Authentic Friendships

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

When we get hurt, no matter how serious the offense or how deep the wound, God has grace available to help us deal with the offense and forgive the offender. At that point, we have one of two choices: We can acknowledge our need and humbly reach out to Him for His grace to forgive and release the offender. Or we can resist Him, fail to receive His grace, and hold on to the hurt. If we take the latter course, bitterness will take root in the soil of our hearts. In time, that root will spring up and cause trouble for us and for others around us who will be affected by our unforgiving spirit.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss

As we seek to love others more that we want (or demand?) to be loved by these same individuals, God provides us with grace from above to love unconditionally. When we concentrate on doing our part in the friendship equation rather than place demands on others, we are free indeed. This is not to say that when we are sinned against either in attitude or action that we blindly accept the situation without a word (or many) to our offender, but we first have to take responsibility for the posture of our own heart and our responses.

Love Is A Verb

This dynamic portion of Scripture lays out clearly what genuine love toward others looks like in the real world. Let me reiterate this passage, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” From beginning to end, God’s word tells us in stunning comprehensive clarity what loving others entails.

God Says Overcome Evil With Good

God knows we are going to be faced with painful and personally disappointing situations with those we consider friends. He knows. Which is why, I believe, God places so much emphasis on the right way to think and speak and respond to our friend- offenders. This passage doesn’t leave room for us to respond to evil with evil, to seek revenge, enact a plan to get even, or even stay angry.

Bitterness Is Contagious

Rather, God warns us that when we choose the path of anger and bitterness, it’s not just us who end up suffering for our sinful response. We infect everyone around us because we cannot contain or merely internalize our disobedience…it spills out of us by way both consciously and unconsciously. Serious stuff indeed.

God Supplies Grace To Forgive

Again, God not only anticipates the problems we will face, but he also provides the perfect response for us to embrace. Of course, we cannot overcome evil with good from a pure heart unless the Holy Spirit gives us the grace to do so. When we rely on his abiding grace to obey in love, our hearts will soar in gratitude to God for his wisdom, power, and might that fully equip us to represent the love of Jesus to one and all.

Take-away Action Thought

When I feel hurt and disappointed by a friend’s words and actions toward me, I will take time to read and memorize this passage in 1 Corinthians 13 which explains in detail what genuine love looks like in the real world. Then I will spend time praying for my friend and the troubling situation.

My Heart’s Cry to You, O Lord

Father, I am feeling such sadness and disappointment with my friend. I can’t seem to stop replaying the hurtful words she said to me. I’m trying to respond in ways that are loving even though I feel so confused by her behavior. Please give me the grace to continue to love her unconditionally and give me wisdom to know how to address this troubling situation. I rely on you to show me how to navigate through this hurtful place. I know you will show me the right path to take. Amen.

Practicing Grace and Gratitude

Grace and gratitude from God – It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. This week, I’ll make a list of everything about my friend for which I am sincerely grateful. I’ll write down anything and everything that is positive and God-honoring, then I will spend time each day praying for my friend’s spiritual welfare.
Grace and gratitude in me – It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Each day, I will take time to prayerfully ask the Lord if there is anyone that I am holding anger and bitterness toward. As needed, I will confess these sinful attitudes and ask the Lord for the renewed love for each of these individuals and commit to pray for them daily.
Grace and gratitude in life – Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. At the end of the week, I’ll spend time mentally revisiting my interactions with others while being mindful of my heart attitude in each situation. I’ll ask the Lord to reveal to me if I was exhibiting impatience, unkindness, jealousy, or pride with my words, my actions, or even more subtly within my heart.

General Christian

Family, Parenting and Religion

personal devotion

intentional forgiveness

purpose-driven

reconciliation

About Michele Howe

Michele Howe is the author of 31 books for women, children, and families. She has published over 3000 articles, reviews, and curricula. Her upcoming release, Brave Faith for Hard Things - Sacred Purpose in Ordinary Suffering, releases June 9th, 2026 by CLC Publications. You can read more about the author here.

Previous Post

April 20, 2026

Breakthrough Those Painful Family Dynamics By Forgiving