Regrets Can Be Positively Transforming

Last updated on: September 8, 2025 at 10:47 am by Michele Howe

0 Comments

Regrets Can Be Positively Transforming 2025-09-08T10:47:59-05:00 Michele Howe

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Live Regret-Free

When you (God) open your hand, they are satisfied with good things

Psalm 104: 28

I should have listened to him. Him being my husband. It felt like an ah-hah moment that arrived a little too late for much damage control to take place. And yet, isn’t our God the one who promises to restore the years the locusts have eaten? He sure is and I’m sure my family is thankful for that promise.

Many years ago, I started writing books for single moms not because I’ve ever been a single parent, but because two of my closest friends almost simultaneously went through unwanted divorces of their own. When they became single parents, I began telling their stories. After watching my two friends become both mom and dad to their children, nothing seemed harder to me than parenting solo.

Learn To Listen To Wise Counsel

So why did I struggle so mightily against listening to my spouse’s counsel regarding one of our children? To this day, I’m not quite sure. If I’m honest, I suppose I thought I had a better take on the situation because I was a woman overflowing with female emotions whereas my husband was all manly business. The truth is, I wasn’t seeing the whole picture and my inability (and unwillingness) to budge from my stance cost my daughter in a big way.

How does a mom spell regret? In big, bold, flashing neon letters that never stop blinking across this mother’s mind, that’s how. If only…I had listened. If only…I had trusted another’s voice other than my own. If only…I had taken more time to pray. If only…I wasn’t so impatient to fix a problem. My “if onlys” were adding up in part because I hadn’t taken time to truly pay attention.

God Gives Wisdom To Those Who Ask

Pay attention to what my spouse was observing. Pay attention to the signs that my daughter was making poor decisions. Pay attention to what the Lord was trying to tell me…that all my good intentions don’t amount to much (or avail much), if I’m not hearing what He (the Lord) is trying to tell me. And more often than not, He (God) uses those closest to me to direct me. My husband. My kids. My parents. My friends.

Paying attention takes effort. Listening takes effort. Waiting on the Lord takes effort (and self-control) to not rush headlong into a situation only to be left with regrets. Paying attention – it’s a good thing.

Regret is the definitive thief. It robs us of our peace today. It steals our hope for tomorrow. Everyone has regrets. Be those regrets of the personal or professional variety, we all make mistakes and with our blunders come all sorts of repercussions.

Humility Is Always A Great Instructor

It’s true enough that when we have a fallout with someone, feelings are hurt and relational repair work has to be done. When we fail at work, again some repair duty must be had. But often we forget that there’s another type of regret-worthy mistake we neglect to consider.

When we stop listening to the people in our lives who know us better than we know ourselves, there’s trouble a brewing. When we fail to heed the advice of those who see the situation from every angle while we only see it from our side, there’s going to be some heartache a happening. When we rush into a difficult situation without first stopping to pray and ask for God’s wisdom, there’s going to be some messy untangling to do.

It just makes sense. Before we leap into the fire (even when we have the best motives possible), we should take on the fireman’s motto of stop, drop, roll. Stop – to get all the facts. Drop – to our knees in prayer. Roll – gently into the situation covered in gentleness and grace. If we can master those three steps…we can alleviate a good portion of the regret we’d experience otherwise. The best part of making mistakes? They can make us better people as we start paying attention to what we did wrong and then learn from it. And transforming something painful into something beautiful? That’s a good thing too.

General Christian

Family, Parenting and Religion

About Michele Howe

Michele Howe is the author of 30 books for women, children, and families. She has published over 3000 articles, reviews and curricula. Her book, Serving As Jesus Served: Practical Ways to Love Others, helps readers discover small ways of making a big impact in the lives of others. You can read more about the author here.

Previous Post

September 1, 2025

Learning Contentment Even In Times Of Loss