Tis the Season for Caregiving

Last updated on: November 12, 2024 at 2:01 pm by Michele Howe

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Tis the Season for Caregiving 2024-11-12T14:01:13-06:00 Michele Howe

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Be joyful always, pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Depressed people, like all of us, are aware of kindness and love that is willing to sacrifice. Love always leaves its mark. As a result, depressed people who do best are cushioned by persevering love.

Edward Welch

We were standing in the church hallway after Sunday services when my good friend Jesse walked up to ask me a question. As we chatted, I was so distracted by her mom’s shadow that I could hardly concentrate on what Jesse was asking me. Only later when we were alone did I have the opportunity to inquire about her mom’s health (physical, emotional, and spiritual). What Jesse shared with me made me so sad. So very, very sad.

Two years ago, Jesse and her husband built on a beautiful in-laws apartment to their home. I had a chance to tour it right after they completed the project and it was gorgeous. I thought how grateful Jesse’s mom and dad would be to live in such lovely quarters while also being so close to their family. Not long after they moved in, Jesse’s dad got sick. He passed away before they’d even spent a full year in their new home.

Grief Happens At Every Age

After the grief subsided, Jesse made it her mission to keep her mom occupied with family goings-on, church functions, senior center classes, and by taking her along for the ride whenever she ran errands. Jesse tried every single day to get her mom out of the house. To no avail. The only place her mom would agree to go to was Sunday church services. Sigh.

Even then, Jesse hardly had a moment to herself because her mom literally shadowed Jesse’s every move. No matter who Jesse talked with, her mom stood right behind her. No matter how Jesse tried to engage her mom with others in conversation, her mom stood silent. No matter what. Nothing seemed to draw Jesse’s mom out of her morose state of mind.

Families Can Help The Elderly Find Joy

After a while, Jesse herself grew overwhelmed by the prospect of constantly attempting to bring new life into her mom’s stalled one. The entire family tried their best to get Grandma out and about and interested in old hobbies, lifelong friends, and church activities. It felt like they were trudging up a mountain with no end in sight. Before her dad had passed away, Jesse’s mom was the life of the party. She was social, engaging, intelligent, and highly active. Now, her mom had turned almost silent, depressed, uninterested, and paralyzed by grief.

Jesse still doesn’t know if her mom will ever turn a corner emotionally before she too, passes away. Jesse, for her part, is determined to keep encouraging her mom to find new ways to live again. Jesse won’t give up…she understands that perseverance is essential and she won’t quit on her mom. Loving her through her grief is a worthy goal even when Jesse doesn’t always believe she is getting through…she is…because we know that love always leaves its mark.

Love Always Leaves Its Mark

I would venture to say that every person alive has gone through tough seasons when they’ve felt like life and all of its accompanying trials just wasn’t worth the effort. But we get through to the other side, we look back, and we realize how much those tough times have forced us to mature and grow in character and well (tougher). Whether the challenges present themselves to us when we are age eight, eighteen, thirty-eight, or eighty, as long as we have breath in our bodies, God has a plan for us.

In Every Season Caregiving Is A Beautiful Gift

Certainly, as we age, those plans morph and change right along with our changing minds and bodies. Still, God is watching over our lives and He expects each of us to continue using the gifts He has given us. God never puts an end date on offering our lives as a living sacrifice to Him as stated in Romans 12. Sadly, ma ny who are in the retirement age bracket feel as though they’ve done their time, given their service, and are deserving of a fulltime rest. Not so.

Lean On Jesus For Strength To Serve Others

Like Jesse, not only will we find ourselves facing adjustments as we age, we’ll probably be required to encourage our aging parents to keep living once grief and loss take a toll. Jesse learned through experience that her mom didn’t want to live anymore. But does Jesse give up? Never. She keeps on plugging along and daily nudges her mom to choose wisely by doing the same. May each of us exhibit the same stamina and stick-to-it-iveness that Jesse demonstrates daily as she continues to offer positive life choices to her mom.

General Christian

Family, Parenting and Religion

About Michele Howe

Michele Howe is the author of 29 books for women, children, and families. She has published over 3000 articles, reviews, and curriculum. Her love for the elderly and their special needs can be discovered in her book, Caring for Aging Parents: Lessons in Love, Loss, and Letting Go. You can read more about the author here.

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November 4, 2024

Our Joy Is Not Dependent On Circumstances