Parents Need to be Brave Enough to Set Boundaries

Last updated on: October 8, 2024 at 4:10 pm by Michele Howe

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Parents Need to be Brave Enough to Set Boundaries 2024-10-08T16:10:47-05:00 Michele Howe

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tough love is a good thing

Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9

Our yesterdays hold broken and irreversible things for us. It is true that we have lost opportunities that will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future. Let the past rest, but let it rest in the sweet embrace of Christ.

Oswald Chambers

You did what? I stopped mid-step, turned abruptly around and asked my husband to repeat what he had just said. “I took her (our daughter) downtown to Cherry Street Mission and told her this was her next stop.” For those not familiar with this mission…it is established for our city’s homeless population and not somewhere you want your beloved child to end up. Then, he continued, “We drove to a parking lot and she smashed her phone and her computer. Neither of us trusted her to have her old contacts…so I thought this would be the best way to start over.” Okay…. my mind was running in a thousand different directions as I stood there stunned by this announcement. In truth, I expected a little more emotion but none was forthcoming.

Tough love takes courage

So, what’s next? I asked. To which my spouse replied, “I’m drawing up a contract today and she doesn’t sign it, we’re heading back to Cherry Street tonight…at least she won’t be on the streets.” Okay… The happy ending to this you-never-want-it-to-happen-to-your-child story was that the proactive measures my husband took on that afternoon some years ago was the turning point of our daughter’s return to a healthy, normal, and safe life. It also marked the very beginning of her journey back to the Lord.

Pray for your child first and foremost

What I remember most about that day was that I felt so thankful my husband had been bold enough to speak the truth (and show our daughter where she was headed) and that he demonstrated the type of love she needed at the time…tough love. Of course, prior to this major decision, we had spent months and months pleading, begging, persuading, and praying for our daughter to change. All to no avail. In truth, it took her reaching the bottom and losing everything she cherished for her to see the light of day. Those months tormented my husband and I unlike any other period of our thirty-nine plus years of marriage. Like our daughter, we found ourselves at the end of ourselves…. and only the grace of God sustained us.

All kids find comfort in boundaries

I share this painful story for one reason. Making the tough parenting choices doesn’t alienate our children from us…it does the opposite. After my daughter came to her senses…and often through the years since that dark time…she continues to thank us both for loving her enough to go to extreme measures for her. Was it heart wrenching? Yes. Was it costly? Yes. Was it a slow process to rebuild her life? Absolutely. But through all of it…we developed a deeper bond of trust amongst ourselves. Again…what in the world’s estimation should have destroyed our relationship…made it all the stronger.

Family, Parenting and Religion

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About Michele Howe

Michele Howe is the author of 29 books for women, children, and families. She has published over 3000 articles, reviews, and curriculum. One of her favorite topics to write on is raising children and grandchildren. Her book, Empty Nest, What's Next? is all about entering this new season of life with faith, hope, and joy. Read more about Michele at her site - www.michelehowe.wordpress.com. You can read more about the author here.

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