Wise Stuff My Husband Said {A Series}: Beauty and Brokenness

Last updated on: September 15, 2011 at 12:01 am by michaboyett

Wise Stuff My Husband Said {A Series}: Beauty and Brokenness 2011-09-15T00:01:34-07:00 michaboyett

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Two weeks ago when August had his traumatic day at school, I was a mess when Chris got home. We put the boys to bed and talked. He said, remember how my dad said, “You’re only as happy as your saddest child?”

I remembered.

Then we thought about it some more. For the past year Chris has been slowly picking through Dale Brunner’s commentary on the first half of the book of Matthew. It’s fantastic. I’ve read it in chunks. Chris reads it almost everyday and then rereads the good stuff over and over. (Sidenote: Dale Brunner taught a seminary class I took on the life of Christ. He is hands-down the cutest little gray-headed man I’ve ever seen. And he is oh so very wise. Now is when you should click here to buy Matthew: A Commentary, Vol. 1: The Christbook.)

Chris reminded me that Brunner’s commentary on The Beatitudes says: “The deepest joy may reside in persons with the deepest sadness.” Then he says this, “Sadness and joy are not mutually exclusive; they are often cause and effect” (164).

We’ve been thinking about that and discussing it lately. Isn’t that what true community is meant to look like? To truly love each other we have to choose to feel with the people in our lives who are hurting. That has to be so much more than being sad about their struggle but leaving it behind when we’re back in our home, our life, our family. That’s not an easy choice. It’s intentional. Our minds like to close themselves off to any other’s pain. We have enough of our own. Entering in to brokenness means hurting ourselves. But can we really experience joy, true joy, if we haven’t walked the dark places? Friendship, community, fellowship (oh! there’s a word we don’t use anymore!) is only real when it ventures into the beautiful places and the broken places. The stuff in between is a chat about the weather.

That following Sunday, somewhere on the MoPac Expressway on our way home from church, while half of our car (ahem, August and Micha) were singing along to the Cars 2 soundtrack, Chris brought it up again. He was thinking about our budget, what we want to value as a family. He said maybe beauty and brokenness should be our gage.

What if we chose to only buy stuff that is either made with care or is absolutely essential? What if we formed our family around the goal of always giving our time and things to the hurting?

How do you respond to these questions when you’re in the car, trying to keep your 3-year-old awake till you get home and can put him to bed? How do you respond when the chaos of your life rarely reminds you how deep and wise and kind-hearted this man is whom you’re married to? How do you respond when you think about The Beatitudes and recall how failed you are at really believing in the upside down reality of Jesus and the blessings he pours out to the poor in spirit, to the merciful?

You do like I did: Say, “Okay. Those are our values.”

Then you buy a notebook, and make some notes and rethink the words you use to correct August’s behavior and wonder how to teach your boys to love the broken when it hurts you so badly to even try.

Yesterday I drove past a homeless man begging on the side of a big intersection. August said, “That man doesn’t have a home or a job. But God will take care of him.”

Brokenness and Beauty. Ah, Lord, let it be the truth of us.

Family Life

good reads

spiritual practice

Previous Post

September 14, 2011

A short post from a tired lady.

Next Post

September 19, 2011 On graveyards...

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category A Deeper Church Beautiful Beautiful and Broken Books Broken Deeper Story Family and the Christian Year Family Life Found Friends Guest Post Invitation Motherhood My Chalkboard One Good Phrase Pinterest Place and Stability Poetry Practicing Benedict Thankful Tuesday The Daily The Mama Monk the Praying Life The Pursuit of Enough This Sacred Everyday Uncategorized Vlog Women and the Church World Vision

Select a Month March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who said: "You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Moses Paul Peter James