Sisyphus and Motherhood and Coffee

Last updated on: May 20, 2012 at 2:35 pm by michaboyett

Sisyphus and Motherhood and Coffee 2012-05-20T14:35:52-07:00 michaboyett

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Yesterday morning I woke to a quiet (and sort of creepy) almost three-year-old standing beside my bed at 6:15, silently staring at me. Good morning, Wednesday.

After I got August settled and watching a Thomas show, I moved toward my coffee pot, only to have Brooks begin crying and crying. I bounced him in the kitchen for 15 minutes staring longingly at the empty pot that remained without coffee due to my only having two hands. Finally, Brooks was asleep! I put him down and ran to the coffee pot, got the drip going. And then…he was awake again, crying in his bassinet. I bounced and rocked and swayed.

The minutes turned into an hour. Lay the baby down, come back five minutes later after he’d woken. It was 7:45 by then and my husband was leaving for work. Chris’ grandparents were in town for the day and were coming around 10 to spend it with us. And our kitchen was covered with dishes and remnants of the night before. I had a lot to do.

Here’s the thing: I had cleaned our house fifteen hours earlier: vacuumed, wiped kitchen counters, scrubbed pots and dishes. And here I was looking at the same kitchen again. Plates in the sink, pizza crust on the counter. There’s a reason for this. It’s that my husband hosts his men’s bible study over here on Tuesday nights. Long before I took my Benedictine motherhood vows, Chris and I had already committed ourselves to hospitality. We want our home to be full of people we love who love our kids. We want our door to be open, our kitchen to be packed with voices. So, every week there are fifteen beautiful women here on Sunday nights, a handful of fellas here on Tuesdays and in between, some happy dinner parties. We love that our home is a place people gather. We love what it does for our kids. (Last week, one of the girls in my bible study, Sarah, saw August at church and leaned forward to say hello. As soon as she got close to his face, he puckered up and smooched her on the lips.)

But yesterday morning I was not thinking about my calling to hospitality or the blessing of adult friends in the lives of my kids, or the simple sweetness of an active home. I was bitter about the dishes.

I did what I do best: opened the freezer and watched a plastic tub of frozen chicken stock fall onto the floor and shatter. Then, I stomped around while sweeping plastic and clanking dishes with my free hand (the one not holding a baby) and complaining to Chris about the ridiculousness of needing to clean the house, again. Good grief, there were crumbs on the carpet even though I vacuumed last night. And I can’t even get anything stupid done because my baby won’t stop crying. And can’t he at least take out the trash?

He took Brooks and went to our bedroom to get his shoes on. I finally poured my first cup of coffee and made that “hmmph” noise.

Then I walked into our room where he sat on the bed with our sweet baby, whose eyes were wide and staring up at him. “I’m sorry I’m crazy,” I said. And I sat down beside them. “It’s just that I’m not accomplishing anything right now. Whenever I have a moment when August doesn’t need me, Brooks is crying and I’m rocking him. And every day I clean the same counters, wash the same clothes. When is anything ever finished?”

Chris said, “I keep thinking that we can’t look at all this stuff as what we have to get through in order to live our lives. The baby crying and diapers and dishes is our life. It’s what we’ve chosen and what we get to enjoy. Micha, you’ve got to get over thinking that what you ‘accomplish’ is everything besides feeding and loving and playing with our kids.”

Turns out he read a quote about Sisyphus the other day (from an essay called “The Myth of Sisyphus“). You know, the mythical figure who is forced to spend eternity rolling a huge boulder up a mountain over and over, day after day? Albert Camus thinks Sisyphus gets a bad rap. He imagines him happy:

“One always finds one’s burden again…his universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night-filled mountain, in itself, forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart.”

What if there is beauty and joy in the monotonous, continual cleaning of our dishes? What if every morning I can’t get from my zombie state to my coffee pot because my crying baby is demanding his own bouncy dance?

So what if I always find my burden again? It’s a lovely burden, isn’t it? Full of purpose and sweetness and monotony, yes. But monotony can also be known as routine and rhythm and practice. (By the way, those are all monastic terms, aren’t they? Hmmmmm.)

Routine and rhythm and practice. And Sisyphus and motherhood and coffee.

Previous Post

April 27, 2011

Questions

Next Post

May 2, 2011 How to be a hero for Mother’s Day: Prosperity Candle and Preemptive Love Coalition

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category A Deeper Church Beautiful Beautiful and Broken Books Broken Deeper Story Family and the Christian Year Family Life Found Friends Guest Post Invitation Motherhood My Chalkboard One Good Phrase Pinterest Place and Stability Poetry Practicing Benedict Thankful Tuesday The Daily The Mama Monk the Praying Life The Pursuit of Enough This Sacred Everyday Uncategorized Vlog Women and the Church World Vision

Select a Month March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Paul Peter James John