How not to raise more than one child at a time…

Last updated on: April 7, 2011 at 12:01 am by michaboyett

How not to raise more than one child at a time… 2011-04-07T00:01:36-07:00 michaboyett

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

About ten times a day I remind myself that billions of women throughout the history of childbearing have had more than one child at a time. Most were like my great-grandmother Mama-Mac, raising seven kids at once. On a farm. In a tiny house on the high plains with no heating or air conditioning. Scrubbing clothes by hand in tubs outside.

So, I’m lame for holding any complaints in my heart…because I have a very easy, happy life. And I have only two children.

What I wish I had is more patience. So far, there’s the stuff I can handle: a crying baby while I make lunch for August and me? Answer: wear him in my sister-in-law made “Moby Wrap” (or as August calls it: my kangaroo pouch) and bounce. Getting out of the house an hour later than I’d hoped? Chock it up to newborn craziness. It turns out people have a lot of compassion for people with newborns.

But here’s what I can’t handle: Baby Brooks crying inconsolably while I’m trying to get August to take his nap. August and I have a ritual for bedtime. It takes a while. And It’s sort of our special snuggle time. I read a book, make up a story, sing a song, and pray. None of those things are easy to do while your other child is screaming his head off, requiring that you bounce him sideways while swaddled (Brooksie is a little demanding). So, unfortunately, I’m finding myself short tempered with August where I used to be patient.

Today while bouncing his brother while I made up a story about the secret dinosaur button on the playground that transported August from the slide onto a dinosaur’s tail, I was leaning on one of August’s pillows against the wall. However, August had some sort of pillow game in mind. He decided that we should not use the pillows until we prayed. He moved his to the middle of the bed and determined to move mine.

“No, August, please don’t touch my pillow. I don’t want you to move it.”

He pulled on it more.

“August, don’t take my pillow! I need it.”

He grunted and heaved. “It’s needs to go over there!” he said.

“I don’t want it to go over there!” I said.

We went back and forth like this until I screamed: “I said ‘No!’”

In a different world, one that existed a little over three weeks ago, I would have explained my reasoning, why it’s unkind to take someone’s pillow away, why I like to lean against it when I’m telling him a story. I would have helped August see that he could play with one of the pillows in the middle of the bed, but not both. Instead, I shouted and felt sorry for my sore baby bouncing arms.

This is why it’s difficult for firstborns to adjust to a sibling in their lives. It’s because their parents turn from gentle and compassionate into crazy-heads. What I don’t want to be is the kind of mother I find myself being: short tempered, lacking compassion, quick to send August to time-out because it’s the easiest thing to do.

And this is where I ask all you mothers of two or more to pour out your wisdom into my comment box…

Motherhood

crazy mother

parenting

Previous Post

April 5, 2011

3 Weeks Thankful

Next Post

April 7, 2011 August lists some things

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category A Deeper Church Beautiful Beautiful and Broken Books Broken Deeper Story Family and the Christian Year Family Life Found Friends Guest Post Invitation Motherhood My Chalkboard One Good Phrase Pinterest Place and Stability Poetry Practicing Benedict Thankful Tuesday The Daily The Mama Monk the Praying Life The Pursuit of Enough This Sacred Everyday Uncategorized Vlog Women and the Church World Vision

Select a Month March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Jesus was baptized in the water of which river?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Nile Jordan Gihon Euphrates