Examining the Ordinary

Last updated on: March 5, 2010 at 7:50 am by michaboyett

Examining the Ordinary 2010-03-05T07:50:36-07:00 michaboyett

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

This has not been a week of Benedictine bliss. In fact, I’ve been a failure of the Rule, hardly praying, living in the same pajamas four days straight, feeling sorry for my sickly self, and in turn, caring for the little boy I passed that sickness onto. The good news is that Benedict would be okay with that (except maybe not the feeling sorry for myself part). For all of his sixth century intensity, he was a man of grace. Even before the Rule’s first chapter he wants us to know that in all of this guidance of life he hopes to impose, “nothing harsh or burdensome.” His goal is more that it will cause our hearts to “warm to its vision” and will give us “eager love and delight that defies expression” as we seek to follow God through the Rule (RB Prologue).

So, it’s on a day like this, with no deep insight into God’s character and no heart full of profound prayers, that I’m grateful for the ancient collection of prayers I’ve grown to love and apply in my life. For this season of Lent, I’ve been using a prayer at night before bed that has become really important to me over the past few years.

It’s called an Examination of Conscience. It’s a guided prayer meditation developed by St. Ignatius as part of his prayer exercises. (You can see the book I’m using for it here.) I know, I know. Meditation is a scary word. It was to me. I was a good evangelical prayer-girl for a long time. What it means to me now is a freedom from words. It means I get to sit in God’s presence without having to come up with something to say. It means I don’t have to perform.

And the “examination” part has become important to me. I spent much of my Christian life sitting down in the morning trying to remember with what I did wrong the day before and listing those things to God in my brain, always feeling like I’d forgotten something important. This exercise has really opened my eyes to seeing my life and failures and hurtful habits in patterns and recognizing the deeper need that’s underneath what I’m doing.

My favorite part of the Examination is that it calls me to first let my heart run through the past day and thank God for the good things that came into my day, in no particular order. Then it asks that I petition God for eyes to see how those good things are making me “more fully alive to God.” I love that. I cannot look back on my day without my heart filling up for Chris and August. I can relive the pre-dinner dance party the three of us had in our living room last night. And I love that I don’t have to just stop with being thankful for them, but that I can be thankful for how God is using the daily ordinariness of our life together to make me the woman he’s always intended I be.

With my heart full like that, it’s not hard to see how I’ve lived out patterns that day that are opposed to the woman God’s making me. In my heart, the woman who spins in circles to awesome toddler music with her 20 month old and super cute husband is not the same woman who nags and blames and lives in fear. And when I speak those failures out loud to God, I can do it with relief that God is changing me, that I’m becoming more my true self every ordinary day.

Previous Post

March 3, 2010

What I was thinking about this morning while I lay awake at 4 am, unable to go back to sleep, due to the massive amount of snot in my head.

Next Post

March 8, 2010 The Mamas Share: Bishop's Sonnet?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category A Deeper Church Beautiful Beautiful and Broken Books Broken Deeper Story Family and the Christian Year Family Life Found Friends Guest Post Invitation Motherhood My Chalkboard One Good Phrase Pinterest Place and Stability Poetry Practicing Benedict Thankful Tuesday The Daily The Mama Monk the Praying Life The Pursuit of Enough This Sacred Everyday Uncategorized Vlog Women and the Church World Vision

Select a Month March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What was the first plague on Egypt?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Lice Hail Death of the Firstborn Nile turned to Blood