Surprising Myself

Last updated on: November 28, 2013 at 7:43 pm by Abra Carnahan

Surprising Myself 2013-11-28T19:43:12-07:00 Abra Carnahan

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Today I realized that I am thankful for having had Hyperemesis Gravidarum throughout my pregnancies. This comes as a shock to me. I’ve been afraid of it for so long. That dark cloud has haunted me since the birth of my first child nearly 8 years ago.

Recently there has been lot of morning sickness talk. I am very blessed to live in a community wherein children are welcomed so there are literally babies, babies, babies every where being born into wonderful, godly homes. Seeing all the chatter about being nauseous and making suggestions for management brought all those years I went through my own personal nightmare with pregnancy sickness back to me — and instead of feeling regret, dread, fear or resentment, I found myself thankful.

Today, I saw a quote by Timothy Keller saying, “God will only give you what you would have asked for if you knew everything he knows.” It occurred to me that, had I known the end result of having had that woeful ailment for so long, I would have asked God to give me HG. It effectively woke me up. It pushed me toward God, making me realize I needed something I wasn’t even aware I was missing. Being that sick for so long surfaced a lot of sin and brought it to a place where it could be dealt with immediately. It made me realize that just going along, having a normal life, being average, wasn’t enough. We serve a gloriously jealous God and He wanted me (His creation, His daughter) to seek Him out so He could unleash His overwhelming, inhuman love on me.

For the first time in many years, I can stand before the world, unafraid of my deepest fear, because I have seen the good that has come from it. For the first time in my life, I find myself realizing that going through HG again (it would be a biological miracle) wouldn’t be so horrible. Difficult, yes, but I know confidently that I could rejoice, knowing that God’s kindness was being poured out on me. I don’t dread it anymore.

Today I am very thankful. I am thankful for my husband, my kids, my church, my home, my car. I am thankful for the cold, sunlit yard, with the icy, frosted grass and crunchy leaves. I’m thankful for the tantalizing smell of bacon, sizzling in the frying pan, while my husband simultaneously plays his guitar while making brunch. But I am also thankful for those 1,000 days of suffering. I’m thankful for the pain and the mind numbing boredom that came with it. I am thankful for God bringing me through all of that faithfully and not only blessing me with 4 beautiful, healthy, happy children (a truly magnificent gift in of itself) but also using it to awake a soulful thirst for Him. A new hunger that is filled but never satisfied. A new connection that has brought me contentment, joy and fulfillment that I had never known before. A relationship that has banished my fear of hyperemesis, a relationship that is overcoming all my fears.

Thank You for loving me so much that You give me exactly what I need, even when I don’t know that I want it. Thank you for not hiding Yourself from me that I can learn to honestly trust You and rest peacefully in it. Thank you, God.

gratitude

health

hyperemesis gravidarum

Previous Post

November 22, 2013

Live Advent Hope

Next Post

December 3, 2013 Savoring Glory

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category 1000 Gifts abortion causes Christianity Current Events death by living Depression Eating Disorders Essential Oils exhortations Facebook friendship giveaways grace gratitude Guest Posts health help homemaking hope hyperemesis gravidarum Instagram internet Journal kids life love marriage medicine men Modesty motherhood Movie Review My Life So Far Organic Pinterest Political pro-life ptsd quotes Recommended Reading Rest Scripture support Thoughts Uncategorized Vlog women Work

Select a Month August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What Christian tradition is especially associated with speaking in tongues?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Presbyterianism Methodism Anglicanism Pentecostalism