Spankings and Judge William Adams

Last updated on: July 17, 2014 at 2:39 pm by Morgan Guyton

Spankings and Judge William Adams 2014-07-17T14:39:12-05:00 Morgan Guyton

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I watched a video I shouldn’t have of that Texas judge William Adams beating his 16 year old daughter Hillary. I had to delete and rewrite that sentence a few times since I wasn’t sure whether to use the word “beating” or “spanking.” I ultimately decide to write the word “beating” because I don’t think you can call it a “spanking” anymore when the recipient is a teenager. I don’t really watch videos of child abuse so I don’t have a baseline to compare this with. The stereotype I had in my head about child abusers was of raving lunatics slurring their words and breaking glass.

Maybe it happens like that sometimes but in the brief part that I watched before I had to turn it off, Judge Adams seemed relatively calm about what he was doing. He dropped the F-bomb a few times, but he didn’t seem like he was in a wild rage. I’m not saying this to justify his actions, but it did seem like from his point of view, he was methodically administering good, old-fashioned discipline. Of course the blogosphere has made this video a dig on fundamentalist Christianity (which I’m not sure is fair; fundamentalists don’t use the F-word like Judge Adams was doing).

I feel very conflicted about spanking. I’ve had to do it when my sons’ behavior crossed over into a level of defiance too egregious for time-outs. I imagine that I’ll do it again. But when is it truly necessary? And how do I tell the difference between needing to assert my manhood and providing a necessary correction as a parent that will help my sons grow one day into solid men? I don’t want to have to pay exorbitant psychiatry bills, but I do want my boys to have at least some superego in their heads holding them back. If my father had never been my oppressor (which wasn’t often), I don’t think I would have become a person who demands excellence of himself.

Every time I spank my sons, I make sure I tell them that I love them beforehand and afterwards and explain why I feel it’s necessary. It makes me feel terrible when they cry. I can’t deny that there’s a “You will do what I command you” thought inside of me that comes from a place of sinful pride. At the same time, I really do want them to be capable of doing what they’re told immediately without talking back in certain situations, because that’s what life requires sometimes. I don’t think you can do that unless you’ve been trained how to do it. When I was a high school teacher, I knew many students who had never been taught them how to show respect to an adult and it got them in all sorts of trouble.

But one thing that really bothers me about spanking is the way that it’s become a litmus test in some conservative evangelical circles of whether you follow God’s law or Sigmund Freud. Fundamentalist Christian author Michael Pearl has a ministry called No Greater Joy built upon the promotion of corporal punishment that’s very popular in Christian homeschooling culture. Several children like Sean Paddock, Lydia Schatz, and Hana Grace-Rose Williams have been beaten to death by parents allegedly as a result of the tactics promoted in Pearl’s book To Train Up a Child. It makes me sick to think that spanking is something Christians would use to define themselves. At the same time, I’m offended when people completely conflate spanking with child abuse as though you cannot possibly spank your child out of love. I’m also turned off by the mentality that every childhood problem can be medicated.

In any case, I’m not a proud advocate of spanking or anything. I’m just trying my best to help my sons become strong, sensitive, confident, humble men. There are a lot of tactics I use as a father to that end. Much of it is instinct. I make tons of mistakes. I try to weed out anything I do out of my own emotional insecurity. It’s terrifying to be a father, but God is helping me. What do you think about spanking? Thanks for whatever insights you have to share.

Previous Post

November 2, 2011

Russell Conwell: the Dave Ramsey of last century

Next Post

November 6, 2011 The risk of dreaming with God

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Advent Beauty Will Save the World Bible Big Picture: Ephesians Bloggers Book Christian salvation and the Beautitudes Culture Daily Office Danceable Homiletics Deadly Sins Deep Roots: Genesis Devotions Dominican Republic May 2011 El Principio Misericordia (The Mercy Principle) Five verses God tattooed on my heart Fundraising FutureGospel Good Biblical Words Henri Nouwen Interview Jennings' Christian Imagination Jesus inside the beltway Jesus Is My Candidate Jesus vs the Pharisees Jesus vs. Plato Journey to Eternity Looking Back on 2012 Love Actually Monday Merton Monday Merton Music Occupy the manger On Earth As It Is In Heaven Original Sin Podcast Poetry Politics Prayer Psalm 119 Radical Jesus 101 Reviews Sermon on the Mount Sermons Spanish Bible study Special Series Spiritual but not religious Synchroblog Theology Things that made me think Thomas a Kempis Ugliness Into Beauty Uncategorized Viaje Dominicano 2013 Walking in the Valley (Lent) Welcome: It's More than a Mat Wild Goose 2013 Wrestling

Select a Month March 2022 January 2022 December 2021 September 2021 April 2021 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

According to Romans, how does faith come?

Select your answer to see how you score.

From the Holy Spirit Through prayer By hearing the word By reading Scripture