My Grownup Christmas Wish / The Gift of Affirmation

Last updated on: December 11, 2023 at 7:55 am by Tosha Lamdin Williams

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My Grownup Christmas Wish / The Gift of Affirmation 2023-12-11T07:55:39-07:00 Tosha Lamdin Williams

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The holidays are here, and excitement fills the air. In my season of life, I’m the momma, the mother-in-law, the soon to be grandma. As matriarch in our family’s equation, I couldn’t be happier with this privilege of making the holidays special. Yet still, when it comes to Christmas, there’s a tiny piece of myself that’s like a child. Within the grownup core of me, my spirit longs for something that I think many of us grownups long for. My grownup Christmas wish is for a father’s voice speaking love and affirmation over me.

So many of us no longer hear this voice, due to reasons from death, loss or suffering to simply a life gone awry. The silence reminds us we have an enemy who wants to steal, kill and destroy. We move forward doing our best, all the while bearing a hole in our hearts. Sometimes small, sometimes gaping, always there, this hole represents an incompleteness that we’d like to avoid or forget, at least for a few blissful holiday moments. We focus on being the gift givers, all the while internally desiring one gift our own souls need: the gift of loving affirmation. This is the voice that whispers to our core: you matter, you are loved, you are significant, you belong.

This is My Beloved Son

As God of heaven and earth, Jesus didn’t need this affirmation. Yet, as human, flesh and blood, perhaps this was one more point in which He was like us (Hebrews 4:15). Scripture tells us of the moment when God gave this affirmation to Him. When Jesus was baptized and came up out of the waters, the Spirit of God visibly descended upon Him. And then, as if that wasn’t amazing enough, “Behold, a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased’” (Matthew 3:17 ESV).

Behold! See! Look, experience, perceive and discern!

I read these words every time I go through the Gospels. And yet, here in the emotions of Christmas, I more deeply ponder what the Father called out over the Son. I can almost imagine God’s heavenly finger pointing to Jesus: This one, this one right here, this one is Mine.

And oh, the way in which the Father spoke! He pointed out His Son in present tense: “This is my beloved Son…” Not just past, not just future, but now.

What’s more, when God spoke, His words went beyond affection to His deep, abiding love over His Son, calling Him His “beloved.” He reiterated their intimate relationship and spoke His pleasure over His Son.

My theological mind knows this baptism moment was a transcendent, divine one. I certainly don’t anticipate the heavens opening or a voice thundering over me. And yet, my grownup heart longs to experience God’s finger pointing at me, His voice speaking over me, His heart pulsing toward me. Really, His words at Jesus’ baptism are the words I’d love spoken over me, even as a grownup: This is my beloved child…

The Words of Our Father

I know I’m not the only one with this grownup Christmas wish. Just recently, my friend Jon, our church’s prayer leader, a godly man in his seventies, prayed this passage from Matthew. Jon’s earthly father is now in heaven, and yet Jon still longs to hear the voice of affirmation in his life. In fact, his prayer is what got me thinking about this grown up Christmas wish in the first place.

Then, on another recent afternoon, I spoke with a friend who is enduring a loveless marriage, her husband now a different man than the one who spoke his vows. Daily, the Enemy’s voice devalues her, tells her she doesn’t matter, reminds her she’s not loved. My friend desperately needs to hear the Father’s voice giving her the gift of affirmation.

In my own life, I am blessed with a husband who loves me and mentors who cherish me. Yet, I, too, have deep brokenness and long for the words of a father, the gift of affirmation.

Maybe not everybody needs this particular gift, but I know that at least some of us do. So, is this grownup Christmas wish just that – – – a wish? Or is it a heart longing to which God our Father speaks over us right now, today, here in this moment?

As we come to Scripture, we can meet with God and hear:

“For the Holy Spirit makes God’s fatherhood real to us as he whispers into our innermost being, ‘You are God’s beloved child!’” (Romans 8:16 TPT). And, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1 NIV).

Behold! See! Look, experience, perceive and discern!

The Gift God Gives Us

Just as God pointed out Jesus with love, affirmation, belonging and meaning, He points to us through His Word. He tells us that we are His children, His sons and daughters. He tells us how very much we matter to Him; He reminds us how significant we are to Him. He speaks worth, value and purpose over us.

You and I are His beloved children. Not just past tense; not just future tense. In present tense, He points us out, claims us as His own, tells us how much we are loved, and states His pleasure over us.

My heart drinks that in; my spirit strengthened; my core bolstered; the ever-present hole in my heart filled.

Yes, we grownups are usually the gift buyers and givers, and that is a beautiful responsibility of Christmas – to bless the next generation. And yet, our Heavenly Father has gifts for us, too, gifts that we are never, ever too old to ask for and receive.

Our grownup Christmas wish, already given, already fulfilled, just waiting for us to ask for and receive again today from our loving Heavenly Father.

Amen and amen!

Be encouraged! ❤️

Tosha

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