Anastasia in Ecclesialand

Last updated on: December 19, 2017 at 9:13 am by Mark Shea

Anastasia in Ecclesialand 2017-12-19T09:13:54-07:00 Mark Shea

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

For those old enough to remember the olden days of Catholic listservs, I bear the sad news that Martin Fontenot, who went by the handle “Friar Gordo”, died on Sunday. No details on his death, but please do pray for this good Catholic man. In his memory, I post a selection from his wonderful piece for Catholic Answers magazine called “Anastasia in Ecclesialand”, describing the encounter with many figures, including an owl who sounds remarkably like James White:

Just then an owl flew down from a tree and began stomping through the feast things, kicking dishes off the table. The middleman pretended not to notice. The owl arrived at the end of the table where Anastasia was sitting and hooted in her face.

“My, you are rude!” said Anastasia.

“I must be,” declared the owl, “to such a wretched creature as yourself!”

“And how do you know I am so wretched?”

“Of course you are wretched! You are breathing, are you not? All things that breathe are wretched.” Then the owl turned to the middleman. “I shall have some tea.”

“Granted, you shall have some tea,” the middleman bowed. “Will you take sugar in it?”

“Wretch!” hooted the owl, “It is tea alone. TEA ALONE! Tea alone, tea alone . . .” and he repeated those two words in a singsong voice for some time, until he appeared to run down.

“Please,” said an e.asperated Anastasia, “does either of you know the way back to the nave?”

“She is rather dull, don’t you think?” quipped the middleman to the owl.

“Quite dull,” agreed the owl. “Should we tell her the truth?”

“By all means,” said the middleman, surreptitiously spooning sugar into his tea as the owl turned to talk to Anastasia.

“First, you must know how wise I am,” began the owl, importantly.

“Must I?” asked Anastasia.

“Indeed you must, or you shall not know how important are the things I am about to tell you!

Anastasia tried to keep a smile on her face, but she had to strain to keep it from turning into a laugh. She had a strong feeling about the things she was about to be told, and she was sure it was not in accord with the owl’s opinion.

“I,” said the owl, “am wiser than history. I know this, because I know how things must have happened, yet history will not agree with me. I am wiser than all the doctors. I know this because I know what they really meant to say, when in fact they said something quite different. I am wiser than all the saints and martyrs and quite a lot wiser than any of the major domos.” The owl cocked his head toward Anastasia. “And do you know why I am so wise?”

Anastasia smiled noncommittally, which the owl evidently took as an entreaty to continue, “I am wiser than all of them because I drink only tea. ”

“Hear hear!” cried the middleman.

“Hear what?” asked the owl.

“Here is your tea.”

“Quite in your debt, I am sure. Did you remember to send some over to the library? They are probably running out by now.” The owl turned to Anastasia again. “We supply the tea for the library, and they are coming along quite nicely.”

Suddenly the owl dropped his cup and began to thrash his wings wildly. “There is a tea bag in my cup!” he cried.

“Well, certainly there is,” said the middleman. “How else would you know that it was tea?”

“Its tea alone that I want,” cried the owl, “and you are giving me bags!”

The two of them began to argue about the validity of tea bags. Anastasia glanced about to see if any path looked as if it might return her to the nave. She saw the tablecloth at the edge of the wood. It rose, as if there were an arm beneath it beckoning her, and suddenly the white bird she had chased into the vestry emerged and flew off down a certain path. Leaving the two creatures quarreling over their tea, she ran after the bird.

There’s much more and it’s all brilliant. Read it!

Eternal rest grant our brother Martin, Father, through Christ our Lord, Amen. Mother Mary, pray for hims and for all the faithful departed.

Uncategorized

RIP

Previous Post

December 19, 2017

Deacon Steve Greydanus on Lifting Up the Lowly

Next Post

December 20, 2017 Since it's the week we recall John the Baptist

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Uncategorized

Select a Month May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 September 2006 June 2006 July 2005 April 2005 May 2002 April 2002 0000

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz