Question about Mercy

Last updated on: December 31, 2015 at 2:48 am by Mark Shea

Question about Mercy 2015-12-31T02:48:04-07:00 Mark Shea

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A reader writes:

I enjoyed reading The Heart of Catholic Prayer and found it interesting to reflect on some aspects of the Our Father and the Hail Mary that were not previously top of mind. One chapter that stuck with me was Chapter 8 (“And forgive us our trespasses..”) where you rightly point out how shocking it is that we are called to forgive everyone who sins against us and the various ways we try to get around this teaching.

Thanks!

My question is: what form should this forgiveness take? I tried to think back to the times in my life that I have forgiven others and thankfully there has not (yet) been anything really serious involved that would have made forgiveness particularly difficult. But when faced with a serious situation (say hypothetically a family member is killed by a drunk driver), I’m assuming that even after forgiving the person in your heart, the anger and grief would continue to resurface for some time. Would it be correct to say that forgiveness is an act of the will and that you may have to repeatedly forgive (in a sense) the same offense if it continues to weigh on you?

Forgiveness is like quitting smoking: you do it thousands of times. It is an act of the will by which you hand the person over to God and ask him to show mercy to that person while renouncing your own right to vengeance. There can be other things involved. You might have to go and make your forgiveness known to them. You may need to go ask their forgiveness to you (since not all quarrels are one-sided). You may have to extend forgiveness in your heart even though they give not the slightest hint of contrition (nor even the awareness that they have sinned). But the core of it is that interior resolution, rooted in the grace of God, to will their forgiveness, good, and blessing and leave them in the Hands of the Mercy.

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