Why I’m a Proud Father

Last updated on: December 31, 2014 at 3:48 pm by Mark Shea

Why I’m a Proud Father 2014-12-31T15:48:31-07:00 Mark Shea

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Luke the Nordic Giant and Sire of Lucy the Cuteness writes:

While searching for fonts today, I was struck by the amusing juxtaposition of snippets of various pangrams used to demo each font. I took out a few words here and there to streamline the grammar a little, and Voila! I’ve composed a Yes lyric! I thought you would get a kick out of it. It contains the phrase “Cozy Lummox gives Wavy Jake’s fat zebra Lawbooks.”

A Found Poem: Font samples in the order I found them. Some words omitted, none edited or added, no word order changed. Punctuation is mine.

Dumpy kibitzer jingles a viewing.
Quizzical Abstract packing five dozen prized waxy jonquils:
A good quick jab of Gorbachev’s quixotic deaf banjo.
Jack amazed a few, back in June.
Quincy Jones vowed whacky pangram Q.
Fred specialized in quick zephyrs.
The sex life of my quaint, quite crazy few.
Then a cop quizzed Mick Jagger:
“The quick brown fox?”

The July sun caused a sex prof, gives back no quick wafting zephyrs.
WHAM! Cozy lummox gives Wavy Jake’s fat zebra lawbooks.

Mix Zapf with Veljo.

Quip-crazy Gorb: A quick move Fred specialized in.

Fax back Jim’s G.

Not only is this mesmerizing in its own strange and funny way, it really is almost indistinguishable from the word salad that Jon Anderson would staple on to Yes melodies in or order to give his tongue something to do besides say “La la”. I mean, come on:

A seasoned witch could call you from the depths of your disgrace,
And rearrange your liver to the solid mental grace,
And achieve it all with music that came quickly from afar,
Then taste the fruit of man recorded losing all against the hour.
And assessing points to nowhere, leading ev’ry single one.
A dewdrop can exalt us like the music of the sun,
And take away the plain in which we move,
And choose the course you’re running.

“A good quick jab of Gorbachev’s quixotic deaf banjo.” has the same meter as the first line of “Close to the Edge” *plus* it has the phrase “deaf banjo” in it, which is wayyyy better. I think Anderson should redo the whole thing with judicious applications of Luke’s verses in it.

Although the immortally funny line about rearranging your liver to the solid mental grace is, without question, one of the most unintentionally funny concatenations of words ever strung together. How he sang that with a straight face I will never know.

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