Washington Post Writer Claims Donald Trump Is (Actually) Killing Him

Last updated on: September 18, 2017 at 7:34 am by Mark Meckler

Washington Post Writer Claims Donald Trump Is (Actually) Killing Him 2017-09-18T07:34:41-06:00 Mark Meckler

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Brad Johnson, Dana Milbank, Lee Fang

Brad Johnson, Dana Milbank, Lee Fang

In the Washington Post, Dana Milbank penned an op-ed called, “President Trump is Killing Me. Really.” In it, he describes how his physical health has deteriorated since Donald Trump has taken office:

I went for my annual physical last month, and, for the first time in my 49 years, I had to report that I’ve not been feeling well: fatigue, headaches, poor sleep, even some occasional chest pain. My doctor checked my blood pressure, which had always been normal before: alarmingly high!

He goes on to write:

What could this mean? I don’t smoke, I’m not obese and I swim most days. The doctor hooked me up to electrodes and ran an EKG; it was normal. He suggested I try an ultra-low-sodium diet, and I spent a few weeks living on unsalted rice cakes, undressed salads and unappealing entrees; the pressure dropped a few points, but not enough. We could pretty much rule out sleep apnea and other things that can cause a spike in blood pressure. My doctor had me take a calcium CT scan of my heart, which filled me with enough radiation to melt s’mores but turned up nothing terrible.

But then, he realizes what’s wrong with him… and — shockingly — there’s nothing wrong with him at all. There’s something wrong with America:

At this point, I arrived at a self-diagnosis: I was suffering from Trump Hypertensive Unexplained Disorder, or THUD. For almost five decades, I had been the picture of health, but eight months into Trump’s presidency, I was suddenly ailing. Trump is the only variable, I told my doctor. “He sure is variable,” my doc replied, endorsing the diagnosis.

I know THUD is a real condition because I have a scientifically valid sample to prove it. I told my editor about my new medical state, and he reported that he, too, has been newly warned by his doctor that his blood pressure has become borderline, and things could go either way. Sort of like with the “dreamers” (although in my editor’s case, dealing with me may be the primary cause of illness).

Where to begin? You would think that a writer for the Washington Post would have better analytic skills than this… that a 49 year old man would understand that health deteriorates over time, that the nagging health concerns of a middle aged man might not be the fault of the President of the United States. Or, on the other hand, if the President is actually causing this man so much anxiety, you’d think he could have an ounce of self-reflection and realize that his priorities are all screwed up… that maybe he should take a step away from his laptop and Twitter feed.

This alone may be enough to help me continue my support for the President. If his mere presence is making these fake “journalists” ill, that may be just what the doctor ordered for the American media.

It certainly is sickly.

Hat Tip: Newsbusters

Image Credit: Center for American Progress Action Fund on Flickr

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