Gratitude and Connection

Last updated on: September 5, 2026 at 3:57 pm by Rob Giannamore

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Gratitude and Connection 2026-09-05T15:57:55-04:00 Rob Giannamore

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Gratitude is not just a feel good emotion or seasonal hobby. When practiced consistently, it becomes a spiritual discipline and moral virtue that must be intentionally practiced. To define gratitude, we must consider the action of it – it starts with noticing. Noticing goodness (however small) in your life and how the sources of this goodness can come from outside ourself. That last one is important. Too often, I see clients who struggle to see the goodness in themselves. My religious and spiritual tradition both teach that we are all good. In cultivating a practice of gratitude, we must distinguish “basic” gratitude—an automatic response to good events—from the disciplined kind, in which you pursue in all circumstances and express through action, not just internal mood. Here, we are intentionally looking for reasons for daily, whether these are big or small.

Once we establish this understanding of the two ways to observe gratitude in our life, we then can examine why it matters. Practicing gratitude as a mindful practice strengthens resilience and well-being (with research-backed mental/physical benefits),and it also serves deeper purposes—opening our eyes to overlooked beauty and goodness, building character by countering envy/resentment and creating humility, and improving relationships by shifting our focus outward and encouraging more compassion, forgiveness, and generosity. Gratitude is contagious. I once got a tattoo of the Pali word Namaste on my right wrist as a way to remind me of the divine presence of the person I am greeting each day. We have two choices when we meet people who are just unpleasant to be around, pray and love them. This posture of gratitude for me triggered a “chain reaction,” increasing the likelihood of future help and spreading goodness through communities.

As with all mindful practices, there is a discipline that is required to maintain the practice. Gratitude is hard because distraction and busyness can cause us to lose our focus. As humans, we also have a tendency to notice the negative, give into adaptation (we stop valuing what becomes familiar), envy (including social media comparisons), and—at the root—pride/entitlement, which blocks the humility required to admit we rely on others and luck.

Life is navigating and moving though the good, the bad and the ugly moments … we sometimes lose our focus when we are experiencing a bad moment, overwhelmed by the awfulness of it – but even in the awfulness, when we are aware that the moment will pass and we let it pass, there comes the good one. The irony of a bad or ugly moment is that it often highlights the smallest of details to be grateful for.

As a discipline, as a practice, gratitude is an action, a choice that we make mentally and emotionally ever day. Even a small one each day that when practiced daily, “trains our gratitude muscle,” emphasizing memory (“remember to remember”), savoring the good so it sticks, and reframing hardships by finding small mercies and choosing a more constructive interpretation—grounded in the idea that while we can’t control events, we can control our perspective and response.

I am writing this post as a larger project to be used as a group for my outpatient clinic. To close, I want to leave you with some of the same questions I will be asking my clients as they consider how to engage in the spiritual practice of gratitude:

In what ways can practicing gratitude strengthen relationships and encourage compassion, forgiveness, or generosity?
Which obstacles to gratitude—such as busyness, negativity, adaptation, or social comparison—do you find most challenging?
Is it possible to practice gratitude during hardship without minimizing pain or difficulty? Why or why not?

Life is hard right now and it can be easy to get overwhelmed. Mindful practices like practicing gratitude helps widen our gaze and focus on that which is important.

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