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February 2019

February 13, 2019

We Want Our Kids to Listen—So Why Don’t We?

A reader sent me an article titled Our Daughter's Nightly Struggle; in it, the author...

February 05, 2019

On Raising Strong Daughters

Would it be simpler if my daughter just did what I told her to? Sure....

January 2019

January 15, 2019

I Yelled First: Some Thoughts on Parenting

I had yelled first. That's right---early on in the dispute I yelled for her to get up...

April 2017

April 27, 2017

Relationship Parenting

When I look at what I have---my daughter's openness and willingness to trust me---I cannot...

December 2016

December 26, 2016

About That Burning Children’s Christmas Presents Meme

The eighth amendment of our Constitution bans 'cruel and unusual punishment.' This only applies to...

October 2016

October 12, 2016

No, Happiness Is NOT a Moral Obligation

The irony, perhaps, is that I was initially slightly excited when I saw that Ladies...

September 2016

September 13, 2016

Parenting Away from a Conflict of Wills

Growing up, my parents followed the child rearing teachings of Michael Pearl. The basic idea...

July 2016

July 25, 2016

The Listening Parent (and the Thinking Child)

I was going to post something about politics today, but then I realized that there...

June 2016

June 09, 2016

Sally Sets Boundaries

This post isn't about Sally's teen years, it's about the boundaries she has already begun...

April 2016

April 04, 2016

Why I Don’t Force Confrontation with My Children

I remember what it felt like to have a parent staring at me and trying...

March 2016

March 28, 2016

Let’s Talk Parenting: Size Matters

I remember when I first realized that, from my children's perspective, I was a giant....

November 2015

November 07, 2015

In Defense of Letting Kids Talk Back

Don't get me wrong, having your child obey you without question is convenient. It makes...

October 2015

October 08, 2015

Lying to Children Is Not a “Joke”

When did it become okay to joke about lying to children? Make no mistake, that...

September 2015

September 21, 2015

What Happened to Teaching Kids to Respect People’s Name Preferences?

When I was in middle school, I briefly tried out the youth group at my...

July 2015

July 28, 2015

When Positive Parenting Doesn’t “Work”

If all you're after is obedience, corporal punishment is probably your best bet. But if...

July 21, 2015

Child Development, Jumping Frogs, and Evading Dinosaurs

We went camping earlier this year. You know, the lovely peaceful sort of camping at...

June 2015

June 09, 2015

Why I Sometimes “Give In” to My Children

In the end, parenting shouldn't be about taking a stand and refusing to move from...

May 2015

May 11, 2015

Parenting Positively Means Much More than Not Hitting

Parenting in a healthy and positive way means so much more than just not hitting...

March 2015

March 03, 2015

On Coming When You’re Called and Fear-Based Obedience

Yesterday I argued that we sometimes hold higher expectations for our children than we do...

March 01, 2015

When We Expect More of Our Children than of Ourselves

How often do we expect more of our children than we do of ourselves?

January 2015

January 31, 2015

Not All Days Are Easy Days

When I write about parenting, my pieces are usually upbeat and happy. I'm sharing some...

January 19, 2015

How Spanking Sounds to a Never-Spanked 5-Year-Old

In Sally's eyes, parents who hit their children if they do something wrong are acting...

November 2014

November 08, 2014

In Which Bobby Tries to Communicate

But for all that it is frustrating to me when I can't understand Bobby's attempts...

September 2014

September 30, 2014

But What If They Don’t Do What You Ask?

I wrote recently that I would prefer to teach empathy than obedience. As some readers...

September 28, 2014

“I am so, so sorry, Bobby”: On Apologies

This situation would have played out very differently had it happened when I was a...

September 07, 2014

Wisdom and Thoughts from Sally

From time to time I jot down something my five-year-old daughter Sally says to me,...

August 2014

August 27, 2014

(Mis)Reading Children’s Intent

Having watched Sally's words and reactions---and having seen the neighbor lady's reaction---I decided that Sally...

August 15, 2014

“Be a Good Obeying Girl”

For a long time, I struggled with what to say when I would leave my...

July 2014

July 30, 2014

Both Children and Parents Are Demanding

Sometimes, when we are on a road trip to visit relatives, we stop at a...

May 2014

May 18, 2014

The “United” Front?

I've been wanting to write for a while about the problems I have with the...