Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Love, Joy, Feminism

Home
Nonreligious
Shame the Thong Girls!

Shame the Thong Girls!

Last updated on: October 23, 2019 at 8:13 am by Libby Anne

Shame the Thong Girls! 2019-10-23T08:13:36-04:00 Libby Anne

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Patriarchal blogger Lori Alexander recently wrote a blog post titled Fleshly Lusts War Against the Soul. The comments section turned into a discussion of what to do about the beach. In her post, Lori writes:

Michael Pearl doesn’t go to beaches, pools, or malls. He doesn’t want to go anywhere that would cause fleshly lusts to war against his soul. He flees sexual temptations (1 Corinthians 6:18) because he’s serious about his walk with the Lord. I deeply respect him for this.

This is interesting evidence that Lori and Michael Pearl are blogging to the same general audience, which is what I’d come to assume based on content and style.

Regardless, it was this comment that led the people in the comment sections to pipe up, with a focus on beach.

A reader named Sarah writes:

I thought it was very interesting how you mentioned that Michael Pearl avoids certain places where women will be immodestly dressed. We recently had a family get away to the beach as our three young children love the beach. I could see my husbands eyes continually looking back at a particular spot on the beach. I tried to see what it was he was looking at as this was a very quiet beach (mostly families with young children). After a while a saw what it was his eyes kept returning to. There were two young women in very skimpy bikinis, I would say almost a gstring. My heart sank, however I know my husband was fighting his flesh and doing his best to concentrate on playing with our young children. It honestly makes me want to stop going to the beach despite how much my children enjoy it. Women need to be considerate of others around them when they are choosing their clothing.

I live by the beach. In the summer, the kids and I are there all the time, often with my husband in tow. And it just occurred to me that I have never even worried about this. There are scads of young women in “very skimpy bikinis” and I have never once worried about my husband looking, because, first of all, I know he will take pains not to be a creeper (looking at you, Sarah’s husband!), and second, I’m not worried about him checking out attractive women. I do it too.

It has been a dozen years since I left purity culture, with the mindset displayed in Lori’s post, behind. There was a time that I would have approached a trip to the beach with my significant other with the trepidation Sarah does. That time was long ago—long enough ago that I can now forget the angst, the pain, the worry.

And no, if Lori and her ilk are worried, I’m not worried about my husband cheating on me. If a person is going to cheat on their spouse, it’s not a bikini on the beach that will make them do it. Besides, if one doesn’t view appreciating a particularly attractive person as sin, doing so won’t lead to the sort of angst that leads to a downward spiral. Purity culture teaches that if you check someone out, you’ve already committed adultery with them in your heart, which can lead to shame, which leads to hiding things, which leads to … like I said, a downward spiral.

I don’t know whether certain beliefs correlate with cheating, statistically, but I do know that the women I’ve known who are most worried about their husbands cheating are those who believe that just looking at a woman is adultery. I do not in a million years ever want to go back to that level of chronic anxiety.

Anyway, Lori responds to Sarah as follows:

Go to the beach when it’s too cold for bathing suits maybe, Sarah. We’ve had to leave the beach with our grandchildren before when women with thong bathing suits come along.

A then reader named Suzanne chimes in:

Sarah I do sympathise and believe me it is even worse as you sons get older and aware of the opposite sex. The added problem, is that with such low standards of modesty, it becomes impossible not to ‘stand out’ if you and your daughters are keeping modest. Sadly we have been gradually driven from the beach !

I’m suddenly glad I didn’t leave by the beach when I was growing up. We wore extra modest swimwear, but we swam in private, not in public.

Another reader, Bill T., chimes in:

I would suggest, don’t just “leave the beach”.

Confront these girls in thongs. Speak to them. Shame them. Otherwise they will never realize that they are bringing shame upon themselves.

The reason our society is degraded is that we allow the degradation to go unpunished. It’s like allowing little children to scream in a restaurant and ruin the whole place for everyone…it’s not good for the children or anyone for that matter.

At a certain point, we either start enforcing standards or we watch society collapse and burn.

“Confront these girls in thongs…”

Seriously, what the hell? I don’t know about the beaches Bill T. goes to, but the ones I go to have lifeguards, and if one beachgoer was harassing another beachgoer—which is what Bill T. is advising!—those lifeguards wouldn’t hesitate to intervene. They might even call the police, if the person refused to cut it out. Harassing people in a public space is against the law.

When people talk about fundamentalists trying to push their morality onto everyone else, this is what they’re talking about. No one is stopping Sarah or Suzanne or any of the other commenters from wearing swimwear they consider modest. They’re the ones who have decided that other people wearing what they’re comfortable in, not bothering them at all, impinges on their rights.

Kathleen D. disagrees with Bill T.:

Bill– Shaming women wearing skimpy bathing suits (especially if you are a man) will not make them stop wearing them. If anything, they will feel more empowered in doing so. Speak to them? Sure. Shame them? Absolutely not. To do so would be against God’s word.

But then there’s Lori again:

The Apostle Paul didn’t seem to mind shaming those who were in sin. “Awake to righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak this to your shame.” (1 Cor. 15:34)

Lovely. Just, lovely.

I am so glad I left this toxic mentality behind. I am so glad I can take my husband and kids to the beach without once worrying about my husband committing adultery in his heart—or behaving inappropriately. All that guilt, and shame, and worry—it’s all self-inflicted.

I have a Patreon! Please support my writing!

Purity

modesty

Previous Post

October 22, 2019

What Do Dairy Cows' Y Chromosomes Have to Do with Young Earth Creationism? Plenty.

Next Post

October 24, 2019 Did Trump Cancel His Con Because Atkinson Tipped Off the Authorities? It Sure Looks Like It.

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism Family Feminism Homeschool Meta Parenting Patriarchy Politics Purity Quiverfull Social Justice Uncategorized Worthwhile reads

Select a Month February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What is the longest Gospel?

Select your answer to see how you score.

John Luke Matthew Mark