Raised My Children without Sin

Last updated on: January 31, 2019 at 5:00 am by Libby Anne

Raised My Children without Sin 2019-01-28T22:52:07-04:00 Libby Anne

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I recently came upon an article that caught my attention: it was titled “Raising Children without the Concept of Sin.” It caught my eye because this is something I have thought about before—and something I have first-hand personal experience with.

The author, Julia Scheeres, writes that:

We were standing in line for meat pies at the Great Dickens Christmas Fair. The indoor arena south of San Francisco had been transformed into Victorian London; actors wearing top hats and crinolines roamed about wishing fairgoers “Happy Christmas.” As we contemplated the menu — haggis or shepherd’s pie? — a noisy band of temperance advocates marched by hoisting signs that stated, “Gin is Sin!”

As my 9-year-old daughter watched them pass, her forehead knitted, and then she looked up at me with solemn hazel eyes.

“Mama, what is sin?” she asked.

The merriment of the fair receded and I stared at her, my brain spinning with the magnitude of her question. By failing to teach my child the meaning of the word sin, had I somehow failed to give her a moral foundation?

Sin. That tiny word still makes me cringe with residual fear. Fear of being judged unworthy. Fear of the eternal torture of hell. Fear of my father’s belt.

Scheeres goes on to discuss being raised in a fundamentalist family in Indiana, and the centrality of the concept of sin to her childhood. Scheeres’ narrative felt familiar because I’ve been there: I realized, around a year ago, that I have been raising my children without the concept of sin. I realized this while trying to explain to my older daughter, who is the same age as Scheeres’ daughter, what her grandparents believe.

I quickly found myself stuck. I was trying to explain to my daughter the gospel message so central to her grandparents’ worldview. My husband and I are atheists: neither of us believe in the existence of a supernatural realm or divine beings. We don’t go to church. While my children know that other people ascribe to various religions—we have a varied community—-religious beliefs had never been a significant presence in their lives.

I may be raising my children without religion, but I still want them to know about it. Religious beliefs play a significant role in most people’s lives—and in our society. Understanding that is important. So there I was, attempting to explain to my daughter the underlying principles of what evangelical Christians call “the gospel.”

During that conversation I realized that somehow, completely on accident, I had raised my children without exposure to the concept of sin. My daughter didn’t know what it was. More than that: the very idea of sin did not make sense to her. It did not fit her frame of reference. So, too, I realized in that moment how much distance even I had achieved from the idea. My daughter was right—it didn’t make sense. How did this once seem so intuitive?

I did not worry, while processing this, that I had left my children without a moral compass. I haven’t. They know how to tell right from wrong. They know about fairness, kindness, empathy, and compassion. They know about social responsibility. They believe in making the world a better place, in pursuing justice, and in working toward equity. They hold strong values and have a solid grounding. Sin simply isn’t relevant.

My children know about bad. They know about evil. Sin, though, is something different. Sin is a transgression of divine law. My children have never believed in divine law. They have never been exposed to the concept. I don’t believe in it myself. That day, I struggled to explain to my daughter why anyone would believe that whether one’s actions transgress divine law matters more than whether one’s actions cause another harm.

A few months ago, my daughter launched into an long rant on the limitations of our society’s social safety system. She was impassioned. We need to do more for the homeless and the precariously housed, she said, for those with limited resources and those struggling survive on unpredictable work and low wages. Her rant came from her lived experiences. She has friends who have been evicted, who have been homeless, who have had their family’s cars repossessed. She has watched how hard their parents work.

Where does sin fit this conversation? It doesn’t. Sin, I’ve come to believe, is a distraction. It gets in the way of forming a moral code based not on the whims of a divinity but on the reality of the human experience. It makes moral taboos more important than social responsibility. My children are better off for having been raised without it.

I have a Patreon! Please support my writing!

Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism

Parenting

Previous Post

January 30, 2019

This Colorado Republican Illustrates Why Her Party Lost the Black Vote

Next Post

February 1, 2019 Love Comes Softly: A Deeply Contrived Bargain

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism Family Feminism Homeschool Meta Parenting Patriarchy Politics Purity Quiverfull Social Justice Uncategorized Worthwhile reads

Select a Month February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was the major prophet during King Hezekiah's reign in Judah?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Isaiah Ezekiel Daniel Jeremiah