Homeschool Socialization Is Not Extraneous

Last updated on: September 20, 2016 at 5:00 am by Libby Anne

Homeschool Socialization Is Not Extraneous 2016-09-16T16:10:29-04:00 Libby Anne

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Not long ago, I read a blog post by a homeschool mom Lisa titled Saying ‘No’ to the Homeschool Group. As a homeschool graduate, I was extremely bothered by the author’s attitude toward her children’s desire for friends and time to socialize. I remember being a homeschooled child begging to do co-op because it meant seeing my friends. I remember watching my siblings beg for time with friends. Social interaction is not an optional part of children’s development. It’s critical.

In her blog post, Lisa writes the following:

My kids do not need to do a co-op class. My kids do not need a mom who can’t stay on track with their daily school work because she is busy worried she will forget class or scrambling to pull together some lesson to teach at the last-minute. My little ones do not need to be sent to a nursery room with complete strangers for the sake of the oldest sibling sitting in a room most likely just chatting with a friend (she’s at that stage now).

Hi. I was homeschooled from kindergarten through twelfth grade. That “just chatting with a friend” your older daughter is doing is actually really important. It may be the only social interaction she will have outside of her family that day. There were years when co-op was literally the only time I saw some of my friends. I looked forward to it all week, not because of the interesting we would learn but rather because I would see my friends. And that’s okay! That’s a good thing, actually!

Let me pause a moment to say a word about homeschool groups and co-ops for those who may be less familiar with homeschooling. There are many different kinds of co-ops. Most involve homeschooling families coming together for one morning a week, or one morning every other week, to study a specific subject or subjects. The mothers team-teach the materials and staff the nursery and the children are divided up into classes. I attended a co-op like this that chose a different subject each semester—chemistry, outer space, the Civil War, and so on. Other co-ops bring in outside teachers to teach given subjects. I attended one such co-op that met one morning a week and brought in teachers to teach choir, art, band, strings, and sign language.

Anyway, back to Lisa:

I do know what is best for my children. We have friends that we visit often. We have American Heritage Girls. Our oldest attends Awana. I do not need to sign up to participate in the hottest new home school group on the block. Our children will prosper without them. They will learn without them. They will probably enjoy school more since I will be more focused on them and not on the group of kids I have to teach.

It is entirely possible that Lisa’s children are in enough groups and activities to fulfill their need for social interaction, but I’m not willing to assume that after the dismissive way she discussed her daughter’s desire to sit and chat with friends. Do Lisa’s children want to do another co-op? Has she asked them or considered their desires, or does she assume she knows their needs without even asking? Some kids only need a minimal amount of socialization, but others need a lot. It’s an individual thing. Also? Parents shouldn’t assume they de-facto know what’s best for their children. Speaking as a parent myself, a little parental humility goes a long way.

And then there’s this:

I did feel, for a minute, like a total slacker mom for not being willing to suck it up and agree to take us all out of the house once a week to learn about something. I did bite my tongue when that one mom implied I was letting my anxiety issues hinder my children.

If you have anxiety that prevents you from getting your children out of the house as often as once a week, homeschooling may be a bad fit for you. Children need social interaction—they need friends and activities. Again, it may be that Lisa’s children have all of this and more, but even if that is the case, there may be other homeschool moms out there whose children do not have adequate access to social interaction who see her post as justification for their children’s relative isolation.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying homeschool families needs to join every co-op, or that homeschooled children need to attend multiple activities a day. Again, different homeschooled children are different. Some need a lot of social interaction while others have their needs satisfied with less. For another thing, there are other activities out there besides co-ops, including clubs, classes, and sports teams, and some homeschooled children may play regularly with neighbors. Third, there is indeed such a thing as too busy. I get that.

But you know what? Homeschooling parents need to take their children’s need for social interaction seriously and not dismiss it with a wave of the hand as Lisa does in referring to her daughter’s desire to chat with friends. Socializing with friends isn’t some sort of side thing that just gets in the way of academic time. It’s crucially important. Homeschool parents need to take their children’s socialization just as seriously as they do their children’s education.

And I should know. I was homeschooled.

Homeschool

socialization

Previous Post

September 19, 2016

The Civil Rights Movement Was Not That Long Ago

Next Post

September 20, 2016 Skittles Can't Feel Pain, or Loss, or Heartbreak

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism Family Feminism Homeschool Meta Parenting Patriarchy Politics Purity Quiverfull Social Justice Uncategorized Worthwhile reads

Select a Month February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

I am a precious stone, tested and chosen. Believers will never be put to shame when they trust in me. What am I?

Select your answer to see how you score.

A living stone A rock A cornerstone A foundation