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One Million Moms Declares War on Children of Gay Parents

One Million Moms Declares War on Children of Gay Parents

Last updated on: November 10, 2015 at 12:04 pm by Libby Anne

One Million Moms Declares War on Children of Gay Parents 2015-11-10T12:04:55-04:00 Libby Anne

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I was not at all surprised to read that American Girl is receiving criticism over including an article about a girl with two dads in their magazine, but as I read the criticism and then read the controversial article itself, I was profoundly saddened. I realize that on some level, the title of this article may seem like hyperbole, but bear with me, because what’s going on here is important.

Let’s start with a recent Washington Post article, Maryland family faces harsh criticism after daughter is featured in ‘American Girl’ magazine. As the article explains:

Rob and Reece Scheer of Darnestown, two white gay men, adopted Amaya and three boys — all of whom are African American and had been in foster care — several years ago and were recently featured in a magazine run by the huge toy chain Mattel and its popular dolls, called “American Girl.” In the article, Amaya tells of how she and her brother came to the Scheers in 2009 with their belongings in two trash bags. It was their third foster home in four months. The Scheers went on to adopt two other kids who are brothers — Greyson, who is now 8, and Tristan, now 6.

The article, by an adult writer for the magazine, is written through Amaya’s perspective. In it, Amaya promotes the charity one of her dads — Rob — started several years ago, called Comfort Cases, which provides backpacks filled with pajamas, toothbrushes, blankets, stuffed animals and other items for foster kids. The group has gone from providing about 300 kits in 2013 to donating 7,000 to kids in the District, Maryland and Virginia foster care systems last year.

It’s pretty clear why American Girl thought this would be a good family to spotlight in their magazine, which caters to tween girls and spotlights stories about girls making a difference in their local communities. The article came about after a writer for American Girl heard Rob Scheer speak at an event about adoption. Rob Scheer was himself a former foster kid, which adds another level to this story. An article like this has the potential to introduce girls to foster children in a humanizing and real way.

So, why are people upset?

After the recent article in American Girl came out and showed a photo spread of Amaya with her family, her parents said they got a call Friday from a family friend saying there was online criticism from a group called One Million Moms. The group said it is an online project of the American Family Association, based in Tupelo, Miss.

On their Web site, the group criticized the article, saying it should have focused “on the child and not about the parents since it is a magazine for children.” It went on: “The magazine also could have chosen another child to write about and remained neutral in the culture war.” The post goes on to say the magazine is trying to “desensitize our youth by featuring a family with two dads” and it calls homosexuality wrong. It also encourages subscribers to cancel the magazine.

One Million Moms’ claim that American Girl should have chosen another family and thus “remained neutral in the culture war” reminds me of those people who tell progressive parents that they need to force their sons to wear pants, because letting them wear dresses is “pushing an agenda.” Do you know what neutral looks like? It sure as heck doesn’t look like going out of the way to avoid stories about kids with gay parents. That’s taking sides. Remaining neutral means choosing stories based on their merit and their potential to educate, without paying any attention to family form.

Curious, I found a link to the American Girl article and read it. And I have to say, I was surprised, because it wasn’t what I was expecting based on the level of controversy. The article never mentions that Amaya has two dads. Not once. The only—and I do mean only—indication that she has two dads is in the picture at the end of the article. It looks to me like American Girl went out of its way to not be controversial. Here’s how the article, which focuses on Amaya and her father Rob Scheer, begins:

My daddy and I are very different, but we’re a lot alike, too. We both love animals. We like to help others. And we were both in foster care as kids. Foster care is a system set up to care for kids when their own parents can’t. Six years ago, my brother Makai and I were in foster care for three months. During that time, we lived with three different sets of foster parents. Then we got adopted.

My daddy and I do lots of things together, like caring for the animals on our little farm. We have ducks, chickens, goats, and two dogs. We also work to help kids who are in foster care today.

Throughout the article Amaya speaks of her “daddy” without mentioning the fact that she has two dads. The only mention that Amaya even has a second parent is the use of the word “parents” in several places, such as here:

Four months later, our parents adopted two more kids, Greyson and Tristan. I love having three little brothers. My parents feed us, love us, and give us everything kids in foster care dream of having someday.

Or in this closing sentence:

When I feed my dog, Kai-lan, or close the chickens up for the night, I give them love and lots of cheerfulness and happiness, just like my parents give me.

Now ordinarily, articles like this speak of “my mom and dad” rather than “my parents.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying American Girl should have made a big deal out of Amaya having two dads. I’d like to live in a world where having two dads isn’t a big deal. What I’m pointing out is that American Girl seems to have gone out of its way to downplay the fact that Amaya has two dads. It looks to me like they were trying very hard not to be controversial.

The only indication that Amaya has two dads is this picture at the end of the article:

Let’s return to One Million Moms’ complaints.

On pages 28-31 of the magazine is an article titled “Forever Family” about adoption from foster care, which would have been wonderful if they had not decided to include a large picture of a girl with her two dads, Daddy and Dada, and three other adopted children.

1MM supports adoption and taking care of orphans as we are biblically instructed to do in Psalm 82:3, but American Girl could have focused the article on the child and not about the parents since it is a magazine for children. The magazine also could have chosen another child to write about and remained neutral in the culture war.

One Million Moms is upset that American Girl featured a story about a girl with two dads, even though the article had nothing to do with the fact that she has two dads. Their criticism that the article should have focused on the child rather than the parents makes no sense given that that is exactly what the article did. While I have not read the magazine in some years, I am fairly certain that it is typical for American Girl to include a family portrait with an article of this sort. Simply including a family picture does not take the focus away from the child being profiled. Except, apparently, if she has two dads.

It appears that One Million Moms wants a world where existing in a gay family renders a child ineligible for inclusion in a magazine like American Girl, even if she has a powerful and important story to tell that has nothing to do with having two dads. Or, perhaps as a compromise, One Million Moms is willing to allow a child with gay parents to appear in an article like this if the article does not mention her parents and is printed without the conventional family portrait, thus rendering her parents invisible. And then they call this neutrality.

I call it erasure and blatant discrimination. But actually it’s even worse, because of what it means for the children involved. The Mormon church announced last week that children of gay and lesbian couples are ineligible for church sacraments. And in this case, One Million Moms has declared children of gay and lesbian couples ineligible from any sort of media visibility, even when it has nothing to do with their parents’ gayness. One of the key reasons the court struck down school segregation in Brown v. Board of Education was the negative impact segregation had on children through the messages it sent them about their worth. How does this not do the same? The answer is pretty obvious—it does.

I realize that there have been children in the U.S. growing up with gay parents for at least half a century now. In fact, the father of my daughter’s friends at school was adopted and raised by two moms. (Someday there will be a book about Heather’s daughter’s three grandmothers.) Children of gay parents facing discrimination is not a new thing. But we are at a point in the conservative opposition to gay rights where marriage has been for all intents and purposes settled, and discriminating against children of gay parents has become the next step. In some cases, schools have refused to enroll the children of gay parents. In other cases, pediatricians have refused to treat the children of gay parents.

This “war” rhetoric may appear bombastic, but the rights of children of gay parents are an emerging frontier in the battle over gay rights nonetheless. No longer content to take aim at gay and lesbian couples, conservatives have put their children in the crosshairs.

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