Coming Full Circle

Last updated on: November 12, 2015 at 8:40 am by Libby Anne

Coming Full Circle 2015-11-12T08:40:25-04:00 Libby Anne

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

As a teenager, I attended an anti-gay “traditional marriage” rally in my state’s capital. I listened to the speakers and cheered along with the crowd. After the rally was over, I spoke with press, explaining my opposition to same-sex marriage. At the time, I had never met a gay person, or, at least, I had never met a person I knew was gay. I believed a lot of lies about the “gay lifestyle” and was convinced that gay people were secretly miserable inside.

I would never have believed that, a decade later, I would find myself sitting at a reception celebrating the marriage of two men, both dear friends.

Not long after attending the aforementioned “traditional marriage” rally, I moved into a college dorm. I had chosen a secular college out of a desire to evangelize—at this point in my life I had yet to be around people who were “unsaved”—but I found the mission field far different than I had imagined it. I met people who identified with all different stripes of religion and found that facts like kindness and happiness did not seem to correlate with any specific religious belief.

I made a lot of good friends during my years living in a dorm, but at the moment, one stands out in particular. We’ll call him Jared. Jared was the most friendly, kind, helpful guy you can imagine. If someone was having a bad day, he was there with a hug. If someone was having trouble with their family, he was there expressing sympathy. He was always ready to listen, always ready to cheer someone up. Jared was the heart and soul of our dorm community.

Jared typically camped out in the dorm’s common area. He was always there studying, lending a hand, playing music on an old piano, and welcoming anyone and everyone.

Then, sometime during my sophomore year, Jared came out of the closet. This shook my world. My parents had taught me that homosexuality was an abomination. I believed that gay people lived a disordered, selfish, hedonistic lifestyle. More than that, I believed that gay people were empty inside, miserable, looking for something—anything—to fill the Jesus-shaped hole in side of them. All of this I believed—that is, until Jared came out.

When Jared came out, I was forced to reevaluate everything I had been taught about “homosexuals.” Jared was the most loving, kind, caring person I knew, and yet he was gay. How could this be, and what did it mean? In a single stroke, Jared toppled everything I had been taught about “homosexuals” for the past upteen years.

That reception I mentioned attending? That reception was Jared’s.

At Jared’s reception, when attendees were asked to come to the microphone and share how they met Jared or his new husband, I stood and walked to the front. I explained how I had known Jared, and what it had meant to me when Jared came out. I had never told Jared this before. And as I stood there, microphone in hand, I broke down. I hadn’t intended to cry, but I couldn’t help it, the tears just came.

When it was time to leave, I came up to Jared for a goodbye hug. As he embraced me, he thanked me for speaking. I thanked him for existing—for being there in my life—and he squeezed me tighter.

It shouldn’t have taken someone like Jared for me to recognize the fellow humanity of LGBT individuals. I was wrong to believe what I was taught by my parents and my church without taking the time to verify it. I was wrong to believe what I was taught by my parents and church when it meant depriving others of rights, regardless of verification. But I can’t change what is past, and I will be forever grateful to Jared for shaking me out of my bigotry.

In a way, some things in my life have come full circle. Jared was the first openly gay person I knew—the person who forced me to completely rethink my views on homosexuality—and now I have seen him happily married. I campaigned against marriage equality in high school, and now I have celebrated both Obergefell but the also the marriage of a good friend. Today, I am content.

Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism

Politics

LGBTQ

marriage

Previous Post

November 11, 2015

A Fundamental Misunderstanding of Ex-Fundamentalists

Next Post

November 13, 2015 Anonymous Tip: The Smoking Gun(s)?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism Family Feminism Homeschool Meta Parenting Patriarchy Politics Purity Quiverfull Social Justice Uncategorized Worthwhile reads

Select a Month February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who warned "the tongue is a fire"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

James John Paul Peter