Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Love, Joy, Feminism

Home
Nonreligious
Is Child Marriage Wrong if the Parents Consent?

Is Child Marriage Wrong if the Parents Consent?

Last updated on: June 15, 2015 at 12:22 am by Libby Anne

Is Child Marriage Wrong if the Parents Consent? 2015-06-15T00:22:29-04:00 Libby Anne

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I was struck by a recent facebook post by Michael Farris, in which he discussed whether the government should be allowed to set a minimum age for marriage.

Text is as follows:

A recent discussion on a friend’s FB thread highlighted a very serious problem that I see surfacing in Christian and conservative circles.

The issue under discussion was setting the proper minimum age for marriage. The question quickly led to the recitation of the emerging mantra “it should be no business of the government.” So long as parents’ consent, marriage should be lawful at any age—many on this thread contended.

The way we test the propriety of a proposed legal rule is to take the rule to its extreme and see how we like the results. So I asked whether a parent should be permitted to give their permission to allow a 7 year old to be married to a 30 year old pedophile. The legal issue is the same whether or not there is a “dowry” (cash payment) offered by the “bridegroom.”

Though they are exceedingly rare, there are parents who would permit this kind of outrageous transaction. Such a plan is inherently evil and should be punished.

This FB discussion highlighted a growing tendency in the Christian and conservative movement to be seduced by a spirit of anarchy.

Government is instituted by God. We are wise to be very cautious toward government. And it is true that today’s government has far exceeded the bounds of its constitutional and moral authority. But we err if we think that government has no legitimate moral authority to punish parents who do evil.

Government is not the province of angels but anarchy is a tool of the devil.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to see Farris state that the government has legitimate moral authority to punish parents who do evil. In my experience, the organizations he has founded (HSLDA and parentalrights.org) tend to work against the government’s ability to do just that (read more here), but perhaps his statement is something we can work with and build on. Or maybe that’s just me being overly optimistic. Perhaps his statement is more about PR than anything else.

More to the point, when I saw Farris’s post I was intrigued that he felt the need to take seriously the argument that parents and parents alone should be able to determine when a child is old enough to marry. That in and of itself is striking. That Farris, with his position as arguably the most visible spokesman for Christian homeschooling, felt the need to take this argument seriously suggests that this is considered a serious argument in his circles—and that is more than a little bit disturbing.

Take a look at this comment by Paul Calvert on Farris’s post:

Text is as follows:

Why didn’t God give a minimum age for marriage to His people in the Law of Moses? Many Bible teachers will say that Jewish boys became adults at age 13 (this is not in the Bible, I think it is maybe more like Jewish case-law).

Maybe God wants His people (us) to make some judgement calls. Is there a moral difference between getting married at 17 vs 16 vs 15 vs 14 . . .

Many suggest that puberty is the most reasonable minimum age. I can’t find any Biblical principle to argue for or against this.

If God (being fully righteous) chose not to give instructions about a minimum age for marriage, why would we want our government (that is often corrupt) to set a minimum age?

Currently, very young children are allowed to consent to fornication with other children who are close in age, but they are not allowed to get married. I think that sends a pretty bad message. We allow children to consent to fornication (without parental approval) which is inherently evil but we don’t allow them to consent to marriage (with parental approval) which is generally good.

When the government is this out of control, I can see how God fearing people (like Hannah on my post) might suggest that it would be better to simply revoke government jurisdiction in certain areas even though it would allow for some children to be abused.

I don’t have a great answer for this question. But I think it is valuable to consider it and discuss it.

Given Paul Calvert’s mention of his own post, I went to his facebook page to see if he had posed the original question Farris had been responding to. He had. Below are some of the comments left on his post, which was a question regarding the reasonable minimum legal age for marriage:

I am reminded of the Chapmans, whom I wrote about over a year ago now. Maranatha Chapman married a much-older man at age 15, and the story of her courtship and wedding was told and retold as a model and aspiration in Christian homeschooling circles in the 1990s. In 2008, Maranatha’s daughter, Lauren, also married a much-older man. She had just turned 16.

The Chapmans don’t just practice child marriage, they also preach it, encouraging other homeschooling parents to follow their lead, even arguing that “a difference in age—even a significant one—with the man being older, helps make for a better fit.” Indeed, we see this in one of the comments above—“a 40 year old man that is established and has run his course in sewing his wild oats is, in a lot of ways, a much better match for younger ladies than a youg [sic] man who has yet to move past being daring and impetuous.”

For individuals like Chapman and this commenter, it is important for a man to reach full maturity and gain experience before marriage, but not for a woman. This isn’t accidental, it’s purposeful. Debi Pearl has written that young women should work to keep themselves malleable so that they can become whatever helpmeet their future husband needs. They are to fit themselves to him, to change themselves as needed, to be what he needs them to be. A woman needs to be physically mature before marriage, but, well, that’s about it.

I grew up in a Christian homeschooling family, but I never saw anything like this in my community. I was surprised, then, when several other homeschool alumni commented on my posts about the Chapmans sharing stories of homeschool girls married of at 16 or 17, often to someone selected by their father, and generally without much life experience beyond their home, church, and Christian homeschooling group.

I’m still not sure how common it is for Christian homeschool girls to be married off at 16 or 17, or for homeschooling leaders to argue in favor of marrying young teenage girls off to much older men. Not very, I hope. However, it is perhaps because I am unsure that I find it so disconcerting that Farris felt the need to engage seriously with individuals arguing that parents should be able to marry their children off even younger. Just how widespread are these views? And even Farris only objected to marriages before age 16.

Early marriages are unwise for a number of reasons, but for individuals like Chapman or other commenters on these threads, early marriage solves a number of problems—it helps ensure that girls maintain their virginity before marriage, and that they do not have the time to become independent or get ideas. Instead, they are passed from father to husband, and expected to submit to male headship either way. This is a problem, especially in the Christian homeschooling world, where girls’ life experiences may be limited in the name of “sheltering” and “protecting” them, and it’s something that should be soundly condemned.

Of course, Farris would rather discuss the potential of libertarianism to veer into anarchy than address any of this. That, unlike the rest, doesn’t surprise me in the least.

Patriarchy

Purity

Previous Post

June 14, 2015

The Lesbian Duplex 20: An Open Thread

Next Post

June 16, 2015 You always sound so angry!

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism Family Feminism Homeschool Meta Parenting Patriarchy Politics Purity Quiverfull Social Justice Uncategorized Worthwhile reads

Select a Month February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Who was the king who arranged for Hezekiah's scribes to compile additional Proverbs?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Ahab Jeroboam Hezekiah Solomon