Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Love, Joy, Feminism

Home
Nonreligious
My Kindergartener Knows What It Means to Be Transgender (and the Sky Hasn’t Fallen)

My Kindergartener Knows What It Means to Be Transgender (and the Sky Hasn’t Fallen)

Last updated on: April 27, 2015 at 11:02 am by Libby Anne

My Kindergartener Knows What It Means to Be Transgender (and the Sky Hasn’t Fallen) 2015-04-27T11:02:08-04:00 Libby Anne

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

This week I saw this story on Fox Nation:

Teachers at Mitchell Primary School in Maine read a book to the children called I Am Jazz. It’s the story about a young child with a boy’s body, but a girl’s brain.

The transgender storytime was part of a lesson on tolerance and acceptance. Parents say they were not informed until after the fact, and one very irate mom reached out to my colleague Sean Hannity, firing off an email that reads, in part, “I feel like my thoughts, feelings and beliefs were completely ignored. My right as a parent to allow or not allow this discussion with my child was taken from me.”

The school apologized, said they regret not notifying parents, calling it an oversight – which is a load of bull. This is an example of a school district circumventing the rights and preferences of moms and dads, and it is a direct attack on the family.

In what world do people think it’s okay for teachers to discuss transgenderism with a bunch of 5-year-olds? Maybe they should stick to teaching the kids how to read and write instead of deconstructing their God-given gender identity. Whatever happened to reading an old-fashioned nursery rhyme?

Oh heavens! Discussing “transgenderism” with 5-year-olds! Whatever shall we do!

I think a lot of the concern on the Right about teaching kids about LGBTQ individuals comes from this idea that these topics are all about sex, and little kids shouldn’t be learning about sex, because innocence, or something. This is where you get all of the concern about sex education that (the horrors!) starts in kindergarten.

So let me allay everyone’s fears for a moment. My kindergarten daughter, Sally, knows about gay and lesbian individuals, and about bisexuality, and about transgender individuals, and she hasn’t connected any one of those things to sex. That may be what adult brains do (or at least, sex-obsessed adult brains on the Right), but it’s not what children’s brains do. And why should they?

Oh, and while we’re at it, sex education for kindergarteners involves things like teaching children about “good touch” and “bad touch”—in other words, it’s predator prevention, not a how-to manual to sex.

Although it’s worth mentioning that my kindergartener does know what sex is. This is largely because she spent an afternoon a year or so ago pouring over my copy of Our Bodies Ourselves and asking me questions. And of course, as part of that conversation I explained that sex is for adults, and then we talked about puberty, and so forth. (She absolutely mortified my 13yo sister-in-law on our next visit by pointing out her developing chest and asking if she was going through puberty.) And honestly, the subject hasn’t really come up since, much like our conversation on what taxes are, and how she’ll have to pay them when she’s an adult too.

You know this trope of how kids whisper to other kids something they found out about sex, sharing this illicit (and thus desirable) information? I think we adults create that phenomenon by making the information seem illicit (and thus desirable) in the first place. I truly think that if we were more willing to be honest with our children, they’d be more willing to be honest with us in return.

And now we’re getting off topic.

I also think some of the concern on the Right about teaching kids about LGBTQ individuals comes from the parents’ desire to teach their children about these subjects from a “biblical” perspective. (I have scare quotes around the word “biblical” because there are numerous interpretations that all have a claim to being “biblical” rather than just one.) It should be noted that teaching children in school about these subjects does not stop parents from sharing their views on them at home, and that this is already the case in other areas too—think of evolution, for example.

Conservative leaders will object, arguing argue that LGBTQ issues should not be covered in the classroom at all so that parents can address them in their own way at home. While I understand this argument, I can’t agree, and there’s a reason for that: LGBTQ individuals exist, and schools need to acknowledge that.

Imagine, for a moment, a world where schools don’t ever mention Native Americans because different religions have different teachings about them (for example, Mormons believe Native Americans are descended from the ancient Israelites). First of all, many children who go through these schools will finish school grossly uninformed, perhaps even unaware that Native Americans exist at all, and second, Native Americans who attend these schools will feel erased (and rightfully so!).

Note: As a reader has pointed out, this is currently the case in too many schools, which deemphasize the role of Native Americans in American history and underplay the role of European settlers in disrupting their way of life, decimating their populations, and removing them from their lands. And the result is exactly as I note—children finish school uninformed, and Native American children feel that their heritage and belonging is written out of history books or erased entirely.

Of course, conservatives will point out that schools do more than teach the existence of LGBTQ individuals, they also teach their acceptance. Well yes, this is true. Schools also teach not only that African Americans exist but also that racism is bad. I saw this first hand last February, when my daughter came home from school talking about Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr., and told me that all month they were reading books about the civil rights movement. This opened up room for more conversations about race at home, and I was grateful for that.

This is simply what schools do. We live in a pluralistic society. Our public schools are a place where many groups come together. Our schools teach acceptance and tolerance (or at least they should) because without these things our society can’t function. Even when a parent teaches their child, at home, that homosexuality is sin, that child will grow up and need to function in a world that has gay people in it. Regardless of their personal beliefs, they will need to be able to interact with gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer individuals both professionally and elsewhere.

I think those on the Right often miss the reason programs teaching school children about LGBTQ individuals are being implemented. It’s less programming than it is pragmatism. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth have a rather horrifying history of being bullied in school, and this still goes on today in many schools. You don’t have to be around young people long to hear the word “gay” being thrown around as an insult. And transgender youth? They get the worst of it. There is a reason 40% of transgender individuals attempt suicide. Schools want to cut down on these numbers, as well they should, and reading young children books like I Am Jazz is part of that.

In other words, even if a child is taught at home that being transgender is going against one’s God-given gender roles, schools still have a stake in ensuring that that child does not bully a transgender classmate. Conservative parents need to understand that this is less about forcing a dogma on their children and more about ensuring that all children—including transgender children—find school a safe and welcoming place.

Before I sign off, let me return to the title of this post. Over the years, Sally and I have had a number of conversations about what it means to be transgender. She thought it was a bit weird the first time we talked about it, perhaps in part because she went through a stage in preschool when who was a “boy” and who was a “girl” was suddenly very important (I think this is an actual developmental stage). But honestly, it never really phased her. It never seemed like a huge deal to her. Just like she knows that some children have two mommies, she gets that some people are born with a body that is one gender and a brain that is the other.

And I’m still waiting for the sky to fall.

Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism

Politics

LGBTQ

school

Previous Post

April 25, 2015

I Have Never Seen a Supernatural Entity Create a Universe

Next Post

April 27, 2015 A Letter from Hell, and Self-Reinforcing Beliefs

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism Family Feminism Homeschool Meta Parenting Patriarchy Politics Purity Quiverfull Social Justice Uncategorized Worthwhile reads

Select a Month February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

I am like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. I am unstable in all my ways. What am I?

Select your answer to see how you score.

A hypocrite A doubter An unbeliever A sinner