When Unassisted Home Births Go Wrong

Last updated on: November 26, 2014 at 12:32 am by Libby Anne

When Unassisted Home Births Go Wrong 2014-11-26T00:32:51-04:00 Libby Anne

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I am not opposed to home birth, but I am absolutely opposed to unassisted home births. I recently came upon an article full of screenshots from unassisted home birth forums, and what I saw didn’t exactly reassure me. But this wasn’t my first introduction to unassisted home births.

Around a year ago I read an article by a woman who described going into labor completely alone while her children slept. She wrote about how empowering it was as a woman to birth her child completely and totally alone. While I can’t find that exact story, there are lots of others like it. I’ve also read that Rebekah Pearl Anast has had unassisted home births with each her children. She allegedly described it as “a thrilling and bonding experience for both my husband and I.” But these stories weren’t my first introduction to unassisted home births either.

I grew up in a conservative homeschooling community where home births were smiled upon. I had a friend who delivered her youngest sister herself, at age fourteen, because the midwife didn’t make it in time. But then, that wasn’t exactly planned. My own mother always gave birth in the hospital, but she sometimes attended friends’ home births. In my community, everyone who had a home birth had a midwife. I’m not sure whether these midwifes were licensed or trained, but the births were at least not unassisted—indeed, having a midwife was treated as a foregone conclusion.

I still haven’t gotten to the first time I heard of unassisted home births, have I?

When I was in college, I met another homeschool graduate, the oldest of ten children. We’ll call him Dave. Dave explained that he and every one of his nine siblings were born in unassisted home births—no midwife, no nurse, no doctor, no one. He explained that his father, who had no medical training, had delivered each one, and that all had survived birth. Only one had any complications—he was born blue, but started breathing after the father repeatedly slapped him. And prayed, of course. I remember being quite shocked, but Dave looked extremely proud.

My next encounter with unassisted home births was not until several years later, reading posts by blogger Kierstyn King. Kierstyn grew up in a large homeschooling family not unlike my own, but like Dave, her family practiced unassisted home births.

In September of 2001, 10 days after the trade centers fell, we had another reminder of the love of god – my mom had a stillborn. A boy, which was special because I only had one brother and at the time there were 3 girls including me . . . . He died in the birth canal with the cord wrapped around his neck – he suffocated. My siblings and I were sick with the flu at my grandparents house, so it was just my mom and dad (homebirths were unassisted, always) at home and they called and had us come home and told us the baby died.

. . .

By the time the funeral had come around, maybe a week later, the paramedics had labeled it SIDS, which I came to understand as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. My parents said that this was all part of gods plan and nothing could have been done to stop it.

. . .

Valentines day (2 weeks before my 13th birthday), 7am, we were all there this time. I was woken up and told to keep the kids under control/fed/etc as mom was in labor in the master bathroom. I popped on cartoons and fed the kids and those things that you do while trying to pretend you can’t hear the screams and noises of labor.

The worst happened. We all heard it, “BREATHE” was shouted over and over again and silence fell. Color drained from our faces. I don’t remember any sequence of events after that, the memory is locked somewhere, but I remember touching this corpse (girl this time) because it seemed to be important to mom. Still cold and blue and purple and pink and gross. It was the same cause; strangulation, the paramedics labeled it SIDS again.

That’s right, Kierstyn lost two of her siblings during childbirth, deaths that were almost certainly preventable. When I read Kierstyn’s story, I was absolutely horrified, not only by her mother’s loss but also by how traumatizing these events were for her, as a young child and preteen.

When I read about unassisted home births today, I think of both Kierstyn and Dave. It’s interesting how different their experiences were—but then, I think the same is true of assisted home births as well. I have two friends, homeschool graduates like me, who have had home births. Both had midwives. One had to be taken to the hospital in an ambulance for an emergency C-section. The other successfully birthed at home surrounded by her friends and relatives. Birth is not exactly predictable. I’ve given birth twice myself, both times in the hospital but without epidurals. Those two labors were very different. The one was by the book, a perfect labor. The other was much faster and felt scary and out of control. Birth is not something to take for granted.

Dave’s parents may have successfully birthed ten children, but Kierstyn’s story points to the risks run by those who attempt unassisted home births.

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