Strong-Willed Child: Flushing Kitties down the Toilet

Last updated on: June 30, 2014 at 8:21 am by Libby Anne

Strong-Willed Child: Flushing Kitties down the Toilet 2014-06-30T08:21:33-04:00 Libby Anne

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

By Victoria

Originally posted on Saving Victoria Strong

The Strong-Willed Child, introduction, pp. 7-10

The intro is rather wordy, so I’m not going to reproduce much of it verbatim. He waxes on about how difficult parenting is, but about how it’s insanely rewarding and speaks of his own children and how much he loves them. He does use the phrase “the thrill of procreation” which made me snicker a little.

Anyways. Then he describes this so-called “strong-willed child” and here is where the book starts to become disturbing. I’ll go through it line by line.

“Even in infancy, he fairly bristles when his dinner is late and he insists that someone hold him during every waking hour.”

First of all, ALL babies cry when they are hungry. This has nothing to do with temperament, this is basic human survival. Secondly, if a baby “insists” that someone hold him at all times, then one of two things is going on: either this baby is young enough that this is a legitimate need, or, assuming this baby is old enough to self-soothe, this could be a parenting mistake. I don’t care what the temperament of a baby is, if you give a child no opportunity to learn how to self-soothe, they will not ever learn to self-soothe. This is not rocket science. But, hey, blame a baby for a parent’s mistake. That’s great. And to add a caveat here: I fully realize that some babies will be ready to learn self-soothing at different ages than others, and that’s fine. The point is that Dobson is blaming either legitimate needs or parenting mistakes on a child have a strong-willed temperament. And that’s not remotely okay.

“Later, during toddlerhood he declares total war on all forms of authority, at home or abroad, and his greatest thrill comes from drawing on the walls and flushing kitties down the toilet.”

First of all, what exactly does it mean for a toddler to “declare total war on all forms of authority?” Dobson doesn’t say, and spoiler alert! This kind of thing occurs frequently throughout the book. So now we move to drawing on the walls. Ironically enough, I never did that, but my very compliant, non-strong-willed sister did. Hmm… Maybe some kids just like to draw and at toddlerhood aren’t yet mature enough to realize the damage that can result from drawing on walls? And, as was the case of my parents, maybe you weren’t watching the toddler closely enough if they get more than a few strokes in?

Okay, this brings us to the most disturbing part: flushing kitties down the toilet. This isn’t describing a strong-willed child, this is describing a possible and potential sociopath!!! Extreme cruelty to animals is a major red flag that the VAST majority of children do not exhibit. What the hell??? I’ll revise a little. The child that would even THINK about flushing a kitten down a toilet is either sociopathic, or has not been told ANYTHING about how life works. I’m sorry, but even the most permissive parents out there would tell a child to be gentle with a kitten, or simply keep the kittens away from the child. This. Is. Ridiculous. And I cannot believe anyone, ANYONE, kept reading this book after that little gem.

“His parents are often guilt-ridden and frustrated people who wonder where they’ve gone wrong and why their home life is so different than they were led to expect.”

Well, if your child kills baby animals, then yes, you absolutely should be guilt-ridden. You should also be getting yourselves and your child to a psychiatrist, stat.

This is not describing the strong-willed child!!! This is describing normal babies, followed by potential sociopathic children. And if a parent reading this doesn’t happen to make that distinction, then no wonder my parents always thought so little of me. They were primed, in a way. Ugh…

Uncategorized

Strong-Willed Child

Previous Post

June 28, 2014

Young Earth Creationism Isn't Science

Next Post

June 30, 2014 Should Parents Be "Involved" in Their Children's Love Lives?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism Family Feminism Homeschool Meta Parenting Patriarchy Politics Purity Quiverfull Social Justice Uncategorized Worthwhile reads

Select a Month February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which empire conquered the Northern Kingdom of Israel?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Assyrian Egyptian Persian Babylonian