On Communicating with Toddlers

Last updated on: March 30, 2014 at 5:00 am by Libby Anne

On Communicating with Toddlers 2014-03-29T09:41:19-04:00 Libby Anne

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Bobby recently took a three hour nap, and when he woke up, he was inconsolable. He came down the stairs crying, upset, and I had no idea what he wanted. Bobby will be two this summer, so communication is still a challenge. I tried picking him up and asking him what he wanted, but he cried and thrashed, so I put him down. I tried offering him all the things he usually wants—his pacifier, his sippie cup, a snack—but he rejected all of it.

Having failed to console him, I decided to let him cry until he calmed down. Bobby laid on the kitchen floor and sobbed. I was frustrated. I was trying hard not to take that out on him, but I had also stopped trying to figure out what he wanted. I felt I’d tried to help him, and it hadn’t worked, so the ball was in his court now.

I was also painfully aware that Bobby was a filthy mess. He had fallen asleep in the midst of eating chocolate ice cream, and I’d put him straight in bed rather than risk waking him by cleaning him. His face was covered with chocolatey smears, as were his chubby little hands. I knew he wouldn’t like me cleaning him, but I figured if he was already crying it wasn’t like it would make things worse. So I got a warm washcloth, picked Bobby up, and thoroughly cleaned his face and hands.

When I put Bobby down, tears and all, after I had finished cleaning him, he reached towards the counter, and seemed to want something up there. So I handed him a small brown paper bag of cookies from earlier, thinking maybe that was what he wanted. He then tried to wipe off his now-wet face with the brown paper bag.

And at that moment I was reminded of his basic personhood.

Bobby doesn’t like me to clean him, but if he drips ice cream on his shirt he wants a napkin to wipe it up. If he spills milk on the floor, he wants a rag to clean it up. If he spills pretzels, he picks them up and puts them back in the bag. When I’d wiped Bobby up, I’d left him with a wet face. He wanted to dry it. Even upset and crying, he was still distinctly Bobby. I handed him a paper towel, and he promptly wiped his face again, this time much more effectively.

Bobby was still crying distraughtly, but I decided to make another attempt to figure out what he wanted. I picked him up. He cried more loudly and struggled, but this time I tried harder to listen. He pointed to the stairs, so I walked up the stairs with him. He pointed to the master bedroom, so I went in there with him. Finally, after some trial and error, I figured out what he wanted. He wanted me to cuddle with him on my bed and read him a book—and he was very insistent that the main light be off.

Bobby had woken from his three hour nap discombobulated, and he wanted me to help him adjust by cuddling him and reading to him in a darkened room. But I wouldn’t have understood any of that if I hadn’t tried again to listen.

Imagine, for a moment, what it must be like to be Bobby. If I find understanding what Bobby wants frustrating, how much more frustrating must Bobby find my difficulty understanding what he wants and his own difficulty communicating it? When I grow frustrated with Bobby’s (understandably) limited verbal skills, I need to remember how much more difficult this must be for Bobby.

And I need to try harder to listen.

Previous Post

March 29, 2014

A Rape Trial from behind the Scenes

Next Post

March 30, 2014 TTUAC: Child Labor (or, Who Needs Academics?)

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism Family Feminism Homeschool Meta Parenting Patriarchy Politics Purity Quiverfull Social Justice Uncategorized Worthwhile reads

Select a Month February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

How many days after resurrection did Jesus ascend?

Select your answer to see how you score.

40 days 50 days 30 days 60 days