Little Bundles of Sin? I Think Not.

Last updated on: January 19, 2014 at 2:59 am by Libby Anne

Little Bundles of Sin? I Think Not. 2014-01-19T02:59:29-04:00 Libby Anne

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

“My legs are tired mommy, my legs are tired!” Sally was insistent.

“We’re almost home, honey, you can make it,” I assured her. Bobby was in the stroller, and as he is just moving from babyhood to toddlerhood I wasn’t going to make him walk.

“No I can’t! My legs are going to fall asleep!” Sally was again insistent.

“Come on honey, I know you can do it,” I said. “Just a little farther!”

And at that moment, Bobby climbed out of the stroller, looked at his sister, and pointed back at the stroller. Sally hopped in the stroller with a sigh of relief. For his part, Bobby turned to walk beside me. None of the conversation that took place between Sally and I had been directed at Bobby, who at only one year old has a mere handful of words at his disposal. Sally hadn’t even made a move on the stroller, trying to take the seat for herself. And yet, Bobby had understood that Sally was tired and wanted the stroller, and had decided to let her have the stroller and walk in her place.

With my background, I find this fascinating. My parents followed the child training methods of Michael and Debi Pearl. As such, my mother used to call babies “little bundles of sin.” The Pearls teach that children are born selfish, and that they must have this selfishness driven out of them through training sessions and the application of the rod. In raising my own children, I have rejected these methods completely and have walked out onto what is for me untrodden ground. I do not spank my children, with a rod or otherwise. Indeed, I rarely punish my children at all. Instead, I look for positive ways to carefully foster empathy and lovingly guide my children toward socially acceptable behavior. According to the Pearls’ teachings, children raised as I am raising mine—without the application of the rod—should be selfish, willful, manipulative, and uncaring for others’ needs. And yet.

Later the same day as the walk discussed above, Sean and I took the kids out for pizza. I held Bobby on my lap, as he likes. I finished my first slice and was engaged in conversation. I looked down just in time to see Bobby putting a new slice of pizza on my plate, having taken it from the tray just within his reach. Bobby had noticed that I had finished my slice, had thought correctly that I would like a second, had worked out how to get me a second, and had carried forth his plan.

Now, Bobby is no pushover. I’ve seen him clobber his sister for trying to take the iPad during his turn. This sort of expression of self—a sense of justice and an unwillingness to allow himself to be walked on—is positive and should be fostered (although it should of course be channeled toward more appropriate measures of redress than clobbering). But even as he is fiercely defensive of what is his, Bobby is also fiercely defensive of the people he loves, and extremely considerate. He looks, he sees others’ needs, and he acts. At the tender age of one, he has already begun to balance his own needs with the needs of others.

This isn’t to say that everything is always smooth sailing. There are plenty of times when the children fight over a toy, or when I cannot understand what Bobby is asking for, or when Bobby is a picky eater when I throw up my hands. Raising children is hard work. But I have watched empathy and consideration for others develop naturally in both of my children. Yes, these things need to be modeled, and yes, they need to be actively cultivated and fostered, but the seeds are already there, and watching them grow is a beautiful thing.

Selfish, willful, manipulative, and uncaring for the needs of others? No.

Little bundle of sin? I think not.

Parenting

Michael Pearl

positive parenting

Previous Post

January 18, 2014

Are You a Fool?

Next Post

January 19, 2014 TTUAC: The Naked Sword of the Law

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism Family Feminism Homeschool Meta Parenting Patriarchy Politics Purity Quiverfull Social Justice Uncategorized Worthwhile reads

Select a Month February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What New Covenant promise is found in Jeremiah?

Select your answer to see how you score.

God will flood the earth God will raise a new king in Israel God will destroy Egypt God will write His law on their hearts