I’m not collecting children anymore

Last updated on: August 8, 2012 at 9:53 pm by Libby Anne

I’m not collecting children anymore 2012-08-08T21:53:22-04:00 Libby Anne

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

For me, the whole Quiverfull mentality ended up being little more than a child collecting contest. Now, any truly Quiverfull woman will deny this. “It’s not about how many children you have or don’t have,” she would say. “It’s about being open to every blessing God sends your way, be that only a few or a dozen or more.” But it’s all there in the language, if you really listen.

“God has blessed me with seven lovely children.”

“God only saw fit to bless me with four.”

“We’re hoping God will bless us with a few more.”

The reality is that when you are told over and over that every child is a blessing from God, it’s not hard to begin to tie just how blessed you are to how many children you have.

I attended homeschool conventions where they gave prizes to the women with the most children. I had friendships thrown in jeopardy when my mom kept having children when other moms didn’t. I saw that Quiverfull publications continually trumpeted the families with the largest number of children.

More children = more blessed. More children = more godly. More children = more praised. Is it any wonder that I experienced it all as a child collecting contest?

When I planned to have a dozen or more children, I saw my future children as numbers rather than individuals. When my daughter Sally was born I saw her as #1, the first in a long line of stair-stepped children. By the time I became pregnant with Bobby, though, I had completely rejected the Quiverfull mentality. I no longer see my children as numbers. I no longer see them as little trophies to be lined up across the hall and admired, or to trail after me in church or at a homeschool convention to prove just how blessed I am.

Perhaps when you were a child you knew a girl who prided herself on the number of dolls she had, all lined up in their pretty dresses on her shelf, carefully collected and set in place. Perhaps you also knew a girl with only one or two dolls, dolls she played with every day, dolls who got dirty only to be lovingly cleaned and then held tight. The first girl’s dolls are dainty and pretty, something to be held up and admired. The second girl’s dolls may not fit some perfect ideal, but they have character and individual personality – and they don’t exist to bring her praise or improve her reputation.

Growing up, I planned to be that first girl. Today, I’m the second. I’m not collecting children anymore.

Quiverfull

Children

Previous Post

July 23, 2012

Raised Quiverfull: Anne's Story

Next Post

July 26, 2012 Worthwhile Reads: Some Eyebrow Raisers

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism Family Feminism Homeschool Meta Parenting Patriarchy Politics Purity Quiverfull Social Justice Uncategorized Worthwhile reads

Select a Month February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

What is the central prayer of Christian faith, taught by Jesus?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The Shema The Lord's Prayer The Hail Mary The Jesus Prayer