Airplanes and me; Or, what a BIG family means

Last updated on: August 8, 2012 at 6:28 pm by Libby Anne

Airplanes and me; Or, what a BIG family means 2012-08-08T18:28:15-04:00 Libby Anne

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

The other day I was talking to a friend about how much I would love to live on one of the coasts someday. I expressed some concern about the idea, though, because it would mean living so far away from all of our family, possibly even requiring numerous days of driving to come for a visit. “Why wouldn’t you just fly?” my friend asked, confused. And I just looked at her. “Oh.” See, growing up in a family with a dozen or more kids meant that flying was never an option, ever. But with only two kids, I suddenly realized, flying would be an option. I could hardly wrap my mind around that.

And this made me think about all the things that growing up in such a large family affected.

First of course is travel. We took many family vacations, always driving across the country in our huge fifteen passenger van. Some of our vacations required as many as three straight days of driving, but, well, that was life.

Any time we went to a museum or historical site, which we frequently did on our family vacations, we bought a family membership, the kind that lasts for a year, even though we almost certainly would not be coming back within a year, if ever. Why? Well, the family membership was always cheaper than paying regular admission with that many children.

When I left for college, I could count the number of times I’d been to an actual sit-down restaurant on one hand. We occasionally stopped at MacDonalds in the middle of those day-long drives while on vacation, but even a stop at MacDonalds could cost my family upwards of $50, so even that was rare (usually we just packed lots of food).

When I got to college, I really hated eating on campus because it meant ordering food, and when I looked at a menu I would just freeze up. I know that sounds weird, but something as simple as selecting an item from a menu and ordering it was totally foreign and a very difficult experience for me. I preferred eating at the buffets on campus, because then I didn’t have to order off of a menu.

Being in such a large family also limited the number of activities we were able to do growing up. I was never involved in sports. My sisters and I did take a dance class once, and we were involved in several co-ops. We also each took music lessons each year, but as our number grew that got to be more and more of a stretch. I actually got my license while in high school intentionally so that I could drive my siblings to their music lessons. But just think about that for a moment: if you have eight kids taking music lessons (i.e. everyone but the preschoolers), that’s four straight hours for each person to get a half hour lesson. Similarly, can you imagine going to eight different children’s games? It’s no wonder we didn’t do sports! The sheer number of us meant that the number of activities and classes we were able to be involved of necessity had to be carefully limited and controlled.

With each season change, my mother got out new clothes for each of us and put away the new ones. We all wore hand-me-downs, even me, so this process didn’t generally involve buying clothes. It was very labor intensive, though, to sort through all that and get everything straight, and sometimes it took mom as much as a full week. It’s no wonder, when you’re talking about going through clothing for a dozen children!

Laundry was a huge task, and one of the most complicated things about it was sorting out whose clothes were whose, especially when you had a run of siblings with the same gender all near the same size. We eventually started putting dots of different colored puffy paint on the toes of socks to keep them all straight. Sometimes laundry piled up into huge mountains in the living room (remember how many people we’re talking here!) and we would have laundry folding parties, where mom would put on a movie and we would all be assigned certain piles to fold.

Food was always bought in huge bulk. I remember once a guest commented on the large size of the ketchup container on the table, and my dad just looked at him silently, and then went to the fridge and got out the two-gallon tub of ketchup we used to refill that “large” container. Everyone started laughing, and dad started pulling out other containers: the gallon containers of Parmesan cheese and mayonnaise, the twenty-five pound bag of flour, etc. We bought eggs in boxes of nine dozen, and butter in ten-pound containers. We never drank milk, because we would have gone through so many gallons a week that it was cost prohibitive.

Cooking was also conducted in bulk. You would never use one container of macaroni and cheese, after all! The question was always, should I use five boxes, or six? How much is enough without having too many leftovers? Making muffins for breakfast meant making at least three dozen, and even then people would be asking for more once they were gone. Pie for desert meant that you could expect to have no leftovers if you made two pies, or a few slices left if you made three. A salad with supper meant a whole bag of lettuce, or else two heads of lettuce. Frying up chicken meant using a whole five pound bag for one meal, just for our family.

This whole bulk thing created a bit of a problem for me when I was a newlywed. No longer eating at campus buffets, I found myself falling into the pattern I’d know growing up – buying and cooking in bulk. Buying flour in less than twenty-five pound bags seemed wasteful, and the pots in the pot set we’d been given for our wedding all seemed too small. The largest one of the lot was probably a fifth the size of the pots I was used to using as a child (the pot that we used regularly loomed over the burner meant to heat it). It took seeing food I’d bought in bulk go bad because it wasn’t used quickly enough a few times and seeing leftovers go bad in the fridge because I’d made four times what we could eat to help me get over the habits I’d grown up with and start actually cooking for, you know, two.

I could go on but I really should bring this post to a close. It’s just that until my friend helpfully pointed out that we could just fly to visit relatives if we lived across the country I hadn’t really taken the time to think about all the things growing up in a mega sized family meant. And in contrast, I’m still trying to figure out what exactly it looks like to raise a family with just, you know, two children.

Family

Quiverfull

Children

Previous Post

July 30, 2012

Dear Lisa: Let us offer you some hope

Next Post

August 1, 2012 Boycotts and Me: A Chick-fil-A Roundup

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Atheism Evangelicalism/Fundamentalism Family Feminism Homeschool Meta Parenting Patriarchy Politics Purity Quiverfull Social Justice Uncategorized Worthwhile reads

Select a Month February 2021 January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 October 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 March 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019 November 2019 October 2019 September 2019 August 2019 July 2019 June 2019 May 2019 April 2019 March 2019 February 2019 January 2019 December 2018 November 2018 October 2018 September 2018 August 2018 July 2018 June 2018 May 2018 April 2018 March 2018 February 2018 January 2018 December 2017 November 2017 October 2017 September 2017 August 2017 July 2017 June 2017 May 2017 April 2017 March 2017 February 2017 January 2017 December 2016 November 2016 October 2016 September 2016 August 2016 July 2016 June 2016 May 2016 April 2016 March 2016 February 2016 January 2016 December 2015 November 2015 October 2015 September 2015 August 2015 July 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

Which book of the Bible contains the phrase "Vanity of vanities"?

Select your answer to see how you score.

Psalms Proverbs Job Ecclesiastes