Coming Out Christian

Last updated on: December 15, 2012 at 8:02 pm by Andrew Marin

Coming Out Christian 2012-12-15T20:02:13-06:00 Andrew Marin

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

Over the next couple weeks, we will be featuring some guest posts from gay and lesbian Christians (and those who do not identify as such while experiencing same-sex attractions) as they will be sharing some of their thoughts on identity and a part of their own journey with faith and sexuality. The first post comes from Mandy Wilson.

Mandy is a freelance writer from Nashville, TN. Her personal journey brought her through years of study and research, as she struggled to reconcile her faith and sexuality. Now she’s on a mission of love and truth, to spread the message of God’s unconditional love for all. When she’s not freelancing, Wilson is busy with her online ministry, ComingOutChristian.org, which provides a safe place for LGBT’s to explore their faith and tell their stories.

When I finally admitted to myself that I was indeed attracted to the same gender, I was scared out of my mind. I had avoided this possibility for years; but there came a point when I could no longer ignore it. I had avoided the topic because I didn’t believe that my relationship with God could co-exist with my sexual orientation—and turning from my faith was never an option for me. I was raised in an incredible Christian home, thrived in my church youth group, and continued on to a Christian liberal arts school in the South. Through all of these experiences, I recall a few sermons shouted with fervor from the pulpit on the topic of homosexuality. But mostly, there was silence… deafening silence; and that was the most unsettling thing of all. I began to pray for healing. I didn’t want to be gay. I didn’t want to be something that no one could even bring themselves to talk about.

For six years, I prayed, fasted, and attended healing services. I believed with all of my heart that God would take this burden away. I didn’t know exactly what His solution would look like; I simply believed it would come in His good timing. I specifically prayed that He would make me straight; but I was prepared for celibacy, also. I had determined that God could make me the first Protestant nun. Married to Jesus—that’s what I would be! The feelings I despised still taunted me from time to time—and at those times, the guilt was overwhelming. But I was a work in progress, anxiously awaiting God’s direction for my life.

Then, I met someone.

Jessica was a lover of Jesus. She exuded everything that Christianity was supposed to be. And she put a kink in my plans. I immediately felt those frightening feelings surfacing again. That’s when I decided to begin researching the topic for myself. I had no idea there were so many perspectives regarding homosexuality and the Bible. I learned that some Christians viewed their sexuality as a call to celibacy… but they still proudly identified as LGBT. Others determined that the observance of cultural cues from the Bible along with translation inaccuracies proved that God does not condemn those who are in a loving, monogamous relationship. I continued to pray, and I felt God urging me to dig deep. At first, there was a significant amount of guilt associated with second-guessing my Scriptural upbringing. Yet, the more I truly tried to grasp God’s intent for His diverse children, the closer my walk with Him became. I began to realize that this was a journey—and one that God was willing to walk with me if I would only let Him. On this newfound spiritual adventure, there was little more valuable to me than being honest. This meant being authentic with myself, my family, and most importantly, with God. Of course, none of these happened overnight. But once I lowered the façade and became real, God started working. I spent years praying for healing—and it did come—just not in the way I expected. I prayed to be straight. Instead, God helped me to understand that He loves me, just as I am.

Many people ask me what being gay or lesbian means to me. In my opinion, it’s quite simple. Being gay or lesbian simply means that a person is attracted to the same sex. It doesn’t mean they are promiscuous. It doesn’t mean they have AIDS. It doesn’t even mean that they have sex with someone of the same gender. A person’s orientation has nothing to do with the act of sex. It is based solely on attraction. It’s the same as having blue eyes or brown hair. Someone once told me, “I still struggle with same-sex attraction… but I don’t want to put any labels on it. ‘Gay Christian’ just seems like such an oxymoron.” That statement bothered me for years. But for me, I had to identify as a lesbian in order to be honest with God. My sexuality was such an innate part of who I was, I couldn’t have an authentic spiritual walk without that honesty.

On a very personal level, I believe in promoting love, understanding, and education about homosexuality in our churches. Arguing or debating does nothing but flare tempers. It takes a mutual commitment from both sides for peaceful discussion and conversation. Everyone is on the same journey, but at different places. Ultimately, we will reach the conclusion that we can love each other without having to agree on everything. That is true peace… and it’s liberating.

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Previous Post

November 11, 2011

Love Is an Orientation Promo Video is Here!

Next Post

November 18, 2011 A Second "Coming Out"

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book Reviews Bridging Opposing Worldviews Culture Don't Drink and Drive Faith Guest Posts I'm Sorry Campaign Interviews Language Laura Statesir LGBT Living in the Tension Living in the Tension Gatherings Love Is an Orientation Love Is an Orientation Blog Love Is an Orientation Book Love Is an Orientation DVD Melinda Guerra Memory My One Sentence Bible Newsletter Our Last Option Parents & Families Politics Quick Quotes Quotes ReEngaging Civility Sexuality Speaking The Marin Foundation Theology Uncategorized Us Versus Us Videos Warren Perry Youth and Campus Ministry

Select a Month June 2016 May 2016 December 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz