Part 1: Sacred Unions by Dan Brennan

Last updated on: December 15, 2012 at 10:04 pm by Andrew Marin

Part 1: Sacred Unions by Dan Brennan 2012-12-15T22:04:26-06:00 Andrew Marin

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

My friend Dan Brennan recently wrote a book called Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions: Engaging the Friendship Between Men and Women. I thought this book worthwhile for a few reasons, and foremost of those is that many of the principles and thoughts are generalizable to what it means to be in faithful relationship (non-sexual friendship) with ‘the other’. In Dan’s case he explores that between men and women, and in this blog’s context it’s between same gender persons – whether LGBT or hetero. I asked Dan to write a few posts about some of his thoughts, and thus, he will have a 5 part series on sacred unions of friendship.

Part 1:

“It’s about friendship.

One of my first reactions to reading Andrew Marin’s Love is an Orientation was that he is calling Christians into friendship with those in the GLBT community. Although friendship has been overlooked in much contemporary evangelical spirituality, Andrew’s bold step to follow Christ offers a way of love through friendship that embodies a move past the fears that divide.

In the history of Christian spirituality, friendship is a robust love beginning with Jesus’ declaration, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). This simple statement from Jesus is well known; yet it challenges our cultural notions of love and friendship. Jesus doesn’t say romantic love is the greatest love. Yet, romantic love is the “greater love” for many in our society. In our current world, romantic love, not friendship, and not even marital love, is most celebrated and valued.

I began to explore friendship as a robust love a few years back when a couple of friendships with women started to move out of the detached, way of relating as friends and into more of a complex and committed love. There was one huge issue. I was a married man. There was a second issue. I resisted black-and-white, cut-and-dried evangelical answers that such friendships are inherently dangerous for both me and my friends. My refusal to settle for stereotypical responses led me deep into the mysteries of love, sexuality, spirituality, and friendship.

The meaning of friendship, of course, is so elastic. It can mean the barest of social contacts or it can mean the ultimate in human connection and relationship. Yes, the ultimate. This is what surprised me as I began to explore the meaning of friendship prior to Freud. In twenty five years in the evangelical community, I always heard about marriage and family life (i.e. “focus on the family”). Friendship, whenever it was alluded to, was a relationship peripheral to God, spouse, family, and church. In the evangelical community, I absorbed the implicit message that romantic love (that is, marriage) was the greatest of all human loves.

My thinking on that began to change as I came across stories of friendship stories from the past. I was shocked to discover a deep spirituality of friendship among Christians from past centuries. Passion. Yearning. Happiness. Union. Commitment. Vows. Affection. Oneness. Safety. Trust. Warmth. There was evidence in these friendships for all of them! This was stunning to me. These stories of robust, passionate love in friendship, not exclusively about sex, challenged my previously held presuppositions of sexuality, spirituality, and friendship. I started to wonder why hadn’t I heard about any of this during my twenty five years in the evangelical community? I heard that family values, faithful marital love, hearing the Bible preached, Bible study, and private prayer were essential to one’s spiritual journey. But these friends of earlier centuries communicated the most heartfelt language of bonding, loyalty, and passion one can have in human connectedness, relationship, and spirituality.”

Much love.

www.themarinfoundation.org

Book Reviews

Guest Posts

Sexuality

Previous Post

March 14, 2011

Love: A Short Summary

Next Post

March 15, 2011 March 15: My One Sentence Bible

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book Reviews Bridging Opposing Worldviews Culture Don't Drink and Drive Faith Guest Posts I'm Sorry Campaign Interviews Language Laura Statesir LGBT Living in the Tension Living in the Tension Gatherings Love Is an Orientation Love Is an Orientation Blog Love Is an Orientation Book Love Is an Orientation DVD Melinda Guerra Memory My One Sentence Bible Newsletter Our Last Option Parents & Families Politics Quick Quotes Quotes ReEngaging Civility Sexuality Speaking The Marin Foundation Theology Uncategorized Us Versus Us Videos Warren Perry Youth and Campus Ministry

Select a Month June 2016 May 2016 December 2015 June 2015 May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011 October 2011 September 2011 August 2011 July 2011 June 2011 May 2011 April 2011 March 2011 February 2011 January 2011 December 2010 November 2010 October 2010 September 2010 August 2010 July 2010 June 2010 May 2010 April 2010 March 2010 February 2010 January 2010 December 2009 November 2009 October 2009 September 2009 August 2009 July 2009 June 2009 May 2009 April 2009 March 2009 February 2009 January 2009 December 2008 November 2008 October 2008 September 2008

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz