Buddhist Catholic Contemplative Evangelical General Christian Hindu Jewish Latter-day Saint Muslim New Visions Progressive Christian

Beliefs

Topics

Columnists

Resource Library

Research Tools

Video

Podcasts

Thought Readers

Faith In Media Tracker

Newsletters

Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In Subscription Support

Follow Patheos

Love, InshAllah

Home
Muslim
Relationships and Religion
Step Baba

Step Baba

Last updated on: November 3, 2014 at 11:16 am by Posted by The Editors

Step Baba 2014-11-03T11:16:18-07:00 Posted by The Editors

LOGO Patheos Explore the world's faith through different perspectives on religion and spirituality! Patheos has the views of the prevalent religions and spiritualities of the world.

I was around three when my mother met him.

He said I took one look at him and hid behind her dress. I peered around as he reached down to pick me up, frantically screamed and did a wiggle move out of his arms.

That was the start of our relationship.

My father (technically step-father), Halil, grew up in rural Turkey. He worked hard and was eventually offered a full paid scholarship to the University of Basel in Switzerland. That is where my mother and I would eventually settle after they met through a marriage ad in Islamic Horizons. My parents were forward thinking even in the 80’s!

His family accepted my mom and I with open hearts and arms. My sister was born in Switzerland a year after my parents married and some of my best memories as a child are with what some would call my step-family – running around with my cousins in our family owned Turkish supermarket and summer family trips to the Alps.

I must admit though, we were confusing to some people. We looked mismatched.

Here was this African, kinky haired, chocolate brown baby wrapped around a freckled faced Mediterranean looking man.

People in Switzerland – and then in the US, where we moved when I was nine – would stare and ask questions. But as a child I was unaware of the curiosity.

What I was aware of was the love and kindness he showed me. He spoke gently to me, protected me from the harshness of the world, and took care of me when I had the chicken pox. I watched his every move.

As a young girl, I was subconsciously building my idea of what it meant to be a man and father. He was setting the foundation for how I would view men and what I would seek in a future partner. In my mind, he epitomized what it meant to be a man. No one could even come remotely close, not even my own biological father, who was suffering from mental illnesses that heavily affected the relationship that I could have with him.

Now, as an adult, I sometimes look at my mid-aged father and realize how blessed I am that he was placed in my life. It amazes me how Allah places love and mercy between the hearts of people. The love He placed between my parents was Allah’s mercy to me as well – I am eternally grateful for the gift of my father.

I thank all the great men who take the risk of marrying women with children, especially those with daughters. You are a powerful model for us and we love you.

—

Ihssan Tahir is a twenty something self-proclaimed “SistaQueen” living in Chicago. She is a registered nurse and specializes in emergency and trauma medicine. In her spare time she enjoys writing and practicing the violin. You can follow her candid blog about her husband hunting endeavors and relationship tidbits at http://muslimnlove.com/.

Previous Post

August 26, 2013

Brown Skin Lady

Next Post

August 29, 2013 Is Passion in Love and Marriage...Real?

Browse Our Archives

Select a Category Book Reviews Brown Girl Dreaming Editors Flirting with Fate and other Disasters of an Intersectional Muslimah Food, Love, & Memories Friday Love Halal Since 22 Integrity of Heart Life After Death Literary Mama Literature Love Inshallah Podcast Love InshAllah writers Media My Infidel Husband Not Without Love Poetry Monday Radical Love Reflections & Readings Reviews of Love InshAllah Salaam Love Writers Sex & The Ummah Single in the City Spotlight Story & Chai Book Club The Geekologist The Love Tour The Male Gaze Things I Wish I'd Known Thoughts of a Wasat Girl Uncategorized Your Sunny Side Up Your voices

Select a Month May 2015 April 2015 March 2015 February 2015 January 2015 December 2014 November 2014 October 2014 September 2014 August 2014 July 2014 June 2014 May 2014 April 2014 March 2014 February 2014 January 2014 December 2013 November 2013 October 2013 September 2013 August 2013 July 2013 June 2013 May 2013 April 2013 March 2013 February 2013 January 2013 December 2012 November 2012 October 2012 September 2012 August 2012 July 2012 June 2012 May 2012 April 2012 March 2012 February 2012 January 2012 December 2011 November 2011

TAKE THE

Religious Wisdom Quiz

In what parable does a father run to greet his lost son?

Select your answer to see how you score.

The Prodigal Son The Two Sons The Rich Man and Lazarus The Lost Sheep